


Begin Again

by greyswidows



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:13:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 40,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27086131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greyswidows/pseuds/greyswidows
Summary: Meredith Grey doesn't like love triangles. Yet here she is, in her 2nd one in just over a year - with Andrew DeLuca and the new Chief of Pediatric Surgery, Cormac Hayes. Last time she chose Andrew - what happens when she chooses to begin something new with Hayes instead of staying with DeLuca?
Relationships: Atticus Lincoln/Amelia Shepherd, Meredith Grey/Cormac Hayes, Winston Ndugu/Maggie Pierce
Comments: 52
Kudos: 172





	1. The Date

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! So, this story is also posted on fanfiction.net under my same name, I just figured it'd be good to get it on multiple platforms in case Merhayes shippers specifically use 1 platform. I (very quickly) fell in love with the Meredith/ Hayes pairing when Hayes was introduced, and I don't see enough Merhayes fics online. Enjoy the chapter!

Meredith Grey was no stranger to love triangles. She’d been involved in an unfortunate amount of them throughout her lifetime, however, she usually found herself drawn to one person more than another. This time was different. She still cared for, and believed that she loved Andrew DeLuca, but she’d also found herself growing incredibly fond of the company of the new Chief of Peds, Cormac Hayes, who’d happened to have been sent into her arms, all the way from her best friend’s hospital in Switzerland. He understood her pain better than anyone in the hospital, aside from Amelia. Plus, he was respectful of Derek and his memory. This was something she hadn’t seen from Andrew many times. But some part of her deep down still cared deeply for DeLuca, and the fact that he was going through a rough time made it harder for her to even think about her options. The fact that she even had options again was hard to fathom for her. Not even a year earlier, she was making a decision between DeLuca and Atticus Lincoln. She never regretted the decision to date DeLuca over Link, as it led him and her sister Amelia to each other, who now had an adorable son together. However, her decision now was much tougher. She’d already been with DeLuca and seen how they worked. She hadn’t with Hayes, which made her more inclined to give Hayes a fair chance. She never gave Link much of a chance because Andrew was persuing her so consistently. This time around, DeLuca was so caught up in his own head that she didn’t even think he’d noticed her forming a connection with Hayes. Amelia and Jo, on the other hand, had figured everything out and had made it abundantly clear who they wanted her to be with.

As she got Bailey and Zola ready for school one morning, she deliberated on her predicament with Maggie, who was a pro and con master.

“I don’t know what to do Maggie, Hayes is great and I’m pretty sure he’s interested, but I feel like getting into something new while Andrew is going through his mental health issues is just... wrong.” said Mer, as she handed Ellis her favourite toy.

“Meredith, you know as well as I do that going on a date with Hayes doesn’t make you a bad person. You said it yourself, Andrew is fun but you didn’t see the relationship going any further than it did. Why not explore something new? It could be something great. You chose Andrew last time and look how it ended up. Give the other guy a chance this time.” Maggie responded, knowing full well that she was right. Meredith knew she was right too.

“Fine,” she said, “You’re right. I’ll talk to Hayes today. Or I’ll try, at least.”

“That’s all you can do, is try. You said Hayes is a good guy. Let him try as well.” Maggie said, giving Meredith a sympathetic smile.

The women packed the children into the car and headed off. Meredith was looking forward to work today. She hoped it wouldn’t take long for her to bump into the Peds doctor.

Sure enough, it didn’t take long at all. They always seemed to be in the same place at the same time.

“Morning, Grey. Coffee?” Cormac asked. Obviously with 3 kids, coffee was a morning staple, so she never denied. This had almost become a morning ritual for the 2 chief’s. As he passed her the coffee cup, she remembered that she had to take him up on his drinks offer at some point, and there was no one around them which made everything much easier for her.

“So, Hayes,” she began, his gaze catching hers. “About that question you asked the night of Richard’s surgery? I’d like to take you up on the offer. Maybe even dinner instead, if that’s alright with you?”

Hayes seemed taken aback, he hadn’t expected Meredith to be the one to re-ask him out. He figured he’d have to wait another week or two and ask her again when the moment was right.

“Uh, yeah. Dinner sounds great. How about 7?” He responded, feeling an abundance of different emotions at once. Realistically, he knew Abigail was cheering him on, and that she wanted him to be happy. He just wondered if he was moving on too fast? But then, he thought, he’s not “moving on.” And neither is Meredith, who he knew understood his conflicting feelings.

“7 sounds perfect.” Meredith said, smiling. Hayes could always find himself smiling if Meredith was smiling. There was something about her smile and laugh that made it so easy to laugh along with her. It was no surprise to him why everyone admired her.

They didn’t have a case together that day, which made the anticipation for their outing even bigger. Obviously Meredith told Jo, Amelia, and Maggie about it, and all 3 were ecstatic. Hayes didn’t really have anyone to tell, nor did he feel too strongly about publicizing anything anytime soon, either way. And neither did Meredith - but Jo, Amelia, and Maggie were her family and they deserved to know. However, telling Amelia also meant telling Link.

As Mer finished up her work for the day, she began to think about the date, and how refreshing it felt to be potentially starting something new. She clearly wasn’t the only one thinking about everything, as Hayes appeared at the door of her office, right as she began thinking about it.

“Oh, hey! I’m almost ready. Just have to make sure everything is good with the kids first.” Meredith smiled at Hayes.

“All good, take your time. I gave Austin and Liam money for pizza, so as long as they don’t set anything on fire, they should be able to take care of themselves for the night.” Hayes laughed. Meredith laughed and smiled at him.

“I don’t want them to grow up, but I also wish my kids were old enough to take care of themselves. Although, somedays I think Zola is 8 going on 45.”

“How many kids do you have?” Hayes questioned, realizing he’d never really asked. Meredith grabbed her stuff and walked out of her office beside Hayes.

“Three. Zola, who Derek and I adopted when I was a 5th year resident, Bailey who is 6, and little Ellis who’s 3 and who Derek never knew about or got to meet.”

Hayes looked at her sympathetically.

“That must have been hard, being pregnant while you were grieving.”

“It was. He said he wanted more the morning before his accident. She was a complete miracle, but I didn’t know how I could do it without him. I didn’t know if I wanted to. But I had Amelia, Maggie, Alex, and more.” Meredith paused, reflecting back to when Ellis had just been born. She was missing Alex and Cristina in the moment, more than she was willing to admit. She wanted nothing more than to go home and drink and talk to them about this date. Sure, she could call them, but it wasn’t the same.

“You okay, Grey?” Hayes inquired.

“Yeah. Just thinking about my friends. It feels a little lonely here now.”

“I get it. I haven’t made any real friends at this hospital aside from you. I sometimes wish I could bring back some friends from residency, who knew Abigail and I, and the kids.” Hayes empathized a lot with Meredith. It was hard being alone. But maybe, just maybe, the two of them didn’t have to be as lonely anymore.

As the two surgeons reached the restaurant, Hayes decided that the conversation would likely do better if it wasn’t so sad. It was nice to have someone to be vulnerable with and open up to, but this was a date and they were there to have fun.

“So, tell me a bit about Karev. I’ve heard a few things, however they mostly came from Jo, and from what I can tell, she’s got a pretty biased opinion.” Hayes chuckled.

“Well, I’ve known Alex since we were interns. Cristina, Izzie, George, and I hated him at first, he was an asshole who was only looking out for himself. But as time went on, that rocky exterior broke down into one of my best friends. Someone I could really rely on after Cristina left for Switzerland and after Derek died. And now he’s a dad to twins.” Meredith said, smiling as Hayes pulled out the chair for her to sit down.

“Well thank you.” Meredith said, smirking.

“Sounds like Karev was a great guy. Do you think we would’ve gotten along?”

“Oh yeah, definitely. You both have that rugged exterior with a heart of gold, and a deep passion for the kids and the work. You two would have been best friends.” Meredith said with a laugh, which of course made Hayes laugh too.

“Well, consider me flattered then. I hope I’ll get to meet Alex someday.”

“I’m sure you will. He’s doing what he knows how to do best right now, which is hide away and avoid contact with many, many people. But he’ll get over it to come visit the kids. They miss him, and he knows it. Zola isn’t very good at hiding her feelings well.”

“That kind of change is hard on kids. Especially when it’s so abrupt. Abigail was sick for so long, but her death still rocked Liam and Austin to their core. It felt so out-of-the blue for all of us, even though we’d seen it coming for months.”

“It definitely wasn’t easy for the kids after Derek died. It happened so quickly, and the next thing they knew we were in San Diego, far away from anything that could remind them of Derek. Zola could hardly understand that she was getting a new little sister.”

“I get it, but I also couldn’t even imagine. I wouldn’t wish what we’ve gone through on anyone.”

“Yeah. Although, you don’t even know the half of it.” Meredith said, laughing slightly.

“Well, now I’m curious.” Hayes inquired, his interest peaking.

“Depends on which story you want to know about first. I could tell you about the bomb, the drowning, the George story, the shooting, the plane crash, Cristina leaving part one, Cristina leaving part 2, you’ve already heard the Derek story, the patient attack or the “i may have accidentally killed someone” story. Take your pick.”

“Okay yeah, I definitely get the ‘twistedness’ now. But that last one caught me off guard. You may have accidentally killed someone??”

Meredith laughed. A lot.

“Okay, well, basically at my trial for my license, one of the doctors on the panel had been one of the doctors on Derek’s care the night of the crash. He didn’t get him a head CT, which is why he died. So when he started questioning Zola’s adoption, I snapped. I called him out for killing Derek in front of the medical board and all my friends and family, including Amelia. He stood up, seized, and they took him to Grey-Sloan. He died on Koracick’s OR table. Amelia and I still laugh about it to this day. Not my finest moment, but I’d been waiting to confront him for so long.” Meredith said, smiling so devilishly at the thought of Paul Castello rotting in hell.

“You know, at the conference I did the same thing. The guy who sold the machine that spread cancer all throughout Abigail’s body and killed her, showed up beside us at the conference and was asking Teddy to partner with Grey-Sloan. I may or may not have lashed out on him and threatened to stick a pen through his throat.” Meredith laughed, and held out her hand in a high-five. Hayes returned the gesture and smiled at her, in only the way her laugh could make him smile.

“It feels good to know that you got some kind of justice or closure surrounding their death. Or at least that’s how it felt for me. It felt like Derek had finally gotten the justice he deserved. He couldn’t fight for himself when he was brought into the hospital, so I was glad I had the chance to fight for him and stand up to the person who made it so that he couldn’t meet his daughter, or walk the girls down the aisle, or teach things to Bailey and the girls as they grew up. It’s all on me now, and that anger had been bottled up inside me for so long.”

“Yeah, I get it. It makes my blood boil that so many other women were probably harmed and potentially killed by this device, and the manufacturers are still openly selling it, knowing the harm it can cause. I think my confrontation was also for all the families that have gone through the same heartache me and my boys went through. They might not have ever have the chance to stand up to these sales reps.” Hayes said, looking down and running his hands over his head.

“Anyways, I’ll get angry if I keep thinking about it, so how about we shift the conversation to something a tad lighter.” Meredith sighed and nodded her head in agreement.

“Do you have any good stories from when you worked in Switzerland? I’d love to hear what you and Cristina were up to while you were there. Cristina tells me pretty much everything but I imagine you’ll probably have some interesting takes on things and other stories that I haven’t heard.” Meredith said with a wide smile. She relaxed in her chair and rested her head on her palm.

Hayes sat in contemplation for awhile.

“Ooh, here’s a good one.” Hayes started. All throughout the night, the two of them ate dinner, exchanged stories, and reminisced on their spouses. They seemed to get lost in time, as Meredith looked down at her phone and realized that it was 10pm.

“Oh god,” Meredith said with a laugh. “It’s getting late, and I have to work early tomorrow morning. We should probably head out.”

“Do you need a ride home? I would be glad to give you one.”

“I’d appreciate that a lot, actually.” Meredith said as she put out a $20 tip for their waiters. Hayes had graciously paid for their food, and he matched her tip. The two got up and left the restaurant, all smiles. Meredith hoped that this was the start of something good.


	2. Unexplained Illness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of drama this chapter! Something I want to see in season 17 is a medical emergency with one of the kids to help bring Mer and Hayes closer together. I tried adding some humour in the chapter to lighten the mood a little bit. A little bit of a cliffhanger at the end. Enjoy!

Meredith was up at 6am the next morning to get ready for work. She went into Zola and Bailey’s rooms, kissed their foreheads, and headed out to work with a very sleepy Ellis on her hip. Amelia didn’t have to work until later in the day, so she stayed with the other kids and got them ready for school. As Meredith drove to the hospital, Ellis fell asleep again in her car seat. As she got to the hospital, and got out of her car, Hayes pulled up beside her. She grabbed her bags off her passenger seat and walked around to the back of the car where Ellis was fast asleep. She slowly unbuckled the car seat straps and maneuvered the little girl’s arms out from behind the straps and hung them around her neck.  
“Grey,” Hayes whispered to her. “Need a hand? I can take your bags for you.” He reached out his hand to her. “That would be helpful, actually.” She said. He grabbed the bags off her arm. She picked Ellis up from the car seat, rested her on her hip, and little Ellis laid her head down on her shoulder. Hayes waited for her at the back end of the car. Meredith was surprised Ellis was still asleep, as she was normally awake around 5:30. She kissed her daughter’s hair and smiled at Hayes as she walked out beside him.  
“Thanks for taking my bags. It’s a lot easier to hold a sleeping one year old, than it is to hold a three-year-old.” She whispered, hoping her daughter wouldn’t wake up. “I get it. When my boys were that age, Abigail and I had a hard time holding them all the time. They never wanted to be put down.” Hayes laughed, then looked up to the sky, remembering Abigail as a mother.  
“Ellis is in that stage now. Derek was here when Bailey and Zola went through their clingy three-year-old phase. Luckily I’ve got Maggie and Amelia to take the load off when I need to.” Meredith chuckled. As they entered into the hospital, Ellis woke up. Her sweet eyes looked up at her mother, but Meredith felt like something was off.  
“Hi baby girl, what’s the matter?” Meredith pushed her daughter’s hair out of her face. Her head was burning.  
“Sweetie, do you feel okay?” Meredith said, concerned. She stopped in her tracks. Hayes was concerned as well and had been since Meredith’s mood had shifted when Ellis woke up. “No.” Ellis said quietly. Meredith looked at Hayes, and they walked quickly to the attending's lounge. Meredith sat down on the couch, and Ellis threw up. Mer became visibly worried, and Hayes was growing more concerned.  
“May I?” Hayes didn’t have to elaborate. He handed Meredith some paper towel and sat down beside Mer and Ellis. “Hi Ellis, I’m Dr. Hayes. Do you mind if I do a little exam?” Meredith brushed her hands through her daughter’s hair over and over again. “Okay” Ellis said. Hayes reached out his hand and placed it on the girl’s forehead. She definitely had a super high fever. “Okay, I’m gonna poke your tummy a little, and I want you to let me know if it hurts.” Ellis winced and cried a little as he palpated her stomach area. “Ouch.” When Ellis said that, Meredith fought back tears. She’d just gone through Zola’s surgery a few months back. Hayes laid a hand on Meredith’s arm.  
“My guess is that it’s just a stomach flu, but I want to get an accurate reading of her temp. Her forehead is really warm. Depending on what it is, I’ll want her admitted and get her hooked up to some fluids, so she doesn’t get dehydrated.” The idea of her youngest daughter being admitted to the hospital was terrifying, and Meredith broke. “Hey. Grey. Don’t freak out until there’s a reason to freak out. She’s going to be okay. Come with me and we’ll get her a room on the peds floor. Do you need me to call Maggie or Amelia?” Hayes said, squeezing her arm for comfort.  
“Could you page Maggie? She’s been on call all night so she’s already here.” Meredith said, sniffling. “Yeah, for sure. Now let’s go get your little girl feeling better.” Meredith hugged Ellis and picked her up, so she was sitting against her abdomen. The elevator ride to the peds floor was tense. Hayes wanted so badly to comfort Meredith but knew that she wasn’t going to stop stressing until her little girl was feeling all better. Maggie was already on the floor when they got up there.  
“Dr. Hayes – you paged?” Maggie said. Hayes stepped aside to reveal Meredith holding a very sick Ellis. “Oh my god, is she okay?” Maggie exclaimed. She remembered how bad Meredith freaked out when Zola had her shunt adjusted. “She has a fever and threw up a few minutes ago. We were about to get her admitted and see what’s really going on.” Hayes explained.  
“Okay. I’ll cancel my day to stay with you guys. And I’ll text Amelia, so she knows to come after she gets Zola and Bailey to school. There’s no need to freak until we have answers.”  
“I said that too.” Hayes said. “Too late.” The one thing Meredith worried about more than anything else in this world was her children.  
“Yeah, this happened last time. We can tell her not to worry all we want, doesn’t matter. She gets all dark and twisty when it comes to the kids. At least this time she can stay with Ellis.” Maggie explained. Hayes hadn’t heard that story and was confused. However, the two surgeons quickly realized that Meredith had already walked off to get Ellis admitted. Both followed shortly afterwards.  
After getting her admitted and getting her into a room, they checked her temperature. Sure enough, her temp was 103.1. Major fever. “Ugh.” Meredith sighed, hugging her daughter. “I’d like to get her started on fluids, so she stays hydrated. Make sure she rests, and I’ll check back in a little bit.” Hayes said. Maggie and Meredith thanked him and laid down on the bed beside Ellis. A nurse came in a few minutes later and hooked Ellis up to the IV. “You are one brave little girl” Nurse Hollian said to Ellis, which made Meredith and Maggie smile.  
30 minutes later, Amelia showed up to the hospital with Zola and Bailey in tow. “What are you guys doing here?” Meredith asked the kids. “Auntie Amelia said Ellis was in the hospital and not feeling well.” Bailey said quietly. “We didn’t want to go to school if she’s sick. We want to be with her.” Meredith motioned for the children to come give her a hug. Bailey climbed on to the bed and sat on Meredith’s lap. Zola hugged her mom and went to sit with Maggie. Amelia sat on the end of the bed. “How ya feeling sweet pea?” Amelia asked Ellis. “Tired. Really tired.” Ellis rested her head into her mother.  
The day went on and Ellis slept, Meredith worried, and Amelia and Maggie did everything they possibly could to distract Mer from her own head. Zola and Bailey were up in the daycare but were told they could come down at lunch to see their sister. “So. Tell us about that date.” Amelia smirked at Meredith. “Oh yes! Tell us all about it!” Maggie exclaimed happily.  
“Well-“ Meredith started, when Ellis started groaning and crying. “What is it baby?” Meredith said, tearing up. Before Ellis could even respond, she started violently throwing up. Meredith tried to keep her cool for her daughter. Maggie ran out into the hall and yelled for a nurse to page Hayes. Minutes later, Hayes ran into Ellis’s room. The young girl was shaking and still throwing up. “Hayes, what’s going on with her?” Meredith said, trying her hardest not to cry.  
“I don’t know, Mer. I’m going to take her to CT and find out though, okay?” Meredith stared blankly off into the distance as Hayes swiftly moved out of the room with her daughter. “I have to go with him.” Amelia and Maggie held Meredith’s shoulders. “I’ll just go to CT. But I want to be with her in case she gets scared.” Amelia and Maggie shared a look and let her go. Meredith ran out to go to the pediatric CT.  
Hayes was just starting the scan when Meredith rushed in. “Is she okay? Is she scared?”  
“Grey, you need to be with your sisters. I’ve got her.” Hayes said, trying to calm her down. ‘I’ll go back to Maggie and Amelia when I know why my baby is so sick.” Hayes knew there was no fighting it, Meredith wasn’t leaving that little girl.  
A few minutes pass and the scans show up. “There seems to be a small blockage in her intestines. We can go in laparoscopically and get rid of it. Okay?” Meredith nodded her head, but all she could do was stare at Ellis. “I’m going to go prep her now. Is there anyone you want in the OR with her?” Meredith was touched that Hayes wanted her to be comfortable with who was treating her daughter. “I just want you and Jo. She loves Jo so much, every time she and Alex would come over, she’d sit with Ellis while Ellis braided her hair.” Hayes smiled at Meredith. “Consider it done. I’ll page her.” He put his hand on Meredith’s arm, and she quickly turned and hugged Hayes. She’d had a stressful day. She wanted Cristina more than anything – but Hayes was there and providing comfort. Hayes was a little shocked but didn’t resist. He’d dealt with grateful mothers before, but Meredith was someone he cared about deeply. Her hug meant so much more to him. Meredith said goodbye to her daughter at the doors from  
2 hours of waiting was misery for Meredith. Zola’s surgery was much quicker than Ellis’s surgery was.  
Dr. Bailey came by about 30 minutes into the surgery. “Meredith, what happened? I saw little Ellis’s name on the surgical board. Tell me you’re not committing insurance fraud again.” That made Meredith roll her eyes. “No. She has some kind of intestinal blockage. Hayes and Wilson are in there with her now.” Amelia explained to Bailey. Maggie had gone to grab Zola and Bailey from daycare to wait with their mom.  
Zola hugged her mom and cried a little bit. “Will sissy be okay?” Suddenly all of Meredith’s own worries seen insignificant, and she kicked into mom mode. “Yeah Zozo, she’s gonna be okay. Aunt Jo and mommy’s friend Dr. Hayes are in there with her.” She hugged her eldest daughter tight, pulling her son in there with her. Amelia and Maggie surrounded them and started a group hug.  
The next hour and a half Meredith, Amelia, and Maggie spent distracting each other and the kids. As Meredith coloured with Bailey, Hayes walked in. All three women stood up simultaneously. “So?” Meredith said, every worst-case scenario running through her mind. “Oh hey – the gang’s all here. Hey guys. She did great. She was very happy to see Jo. She also ate couple of coins. That’s probably what caused everything. Luckily, we were able to get it all out laparoscopically, and she’ll be just fine.” Meredith damn near cried, and hugged Hayes. “When can we see her?” “Let’s go right now.”

Later in the evening, Hayes stopped by again to check on Ellis. “How’s that sweet girl doing?” She had woken up a couple hours earlier, and Jo had checked in on her then. “She’s doing great. Fever has gone down drastically, and she says she doesn’t feel sick anymore.” Meredith smiled. “Zola, Bailey, say hi to Dr. Hayes. He was the one that helped Ellis today.” Zola’s face lit up. “Thank you for saving my baby sister Dr. Hayes.” Zola said cheerfully. “It was my pleasure. Now you kids have to be nice to her for the next few weeks while she gets better. Sound good?” “We’re always nice to her.” Bailey piped up. Hayes laughed at the small blonde boy standing in front of him. “I’ll take your word for it.”  
“Hayes, can I talk to you outside?” Hayes was puzzled. “Sure.” They stepped outside Ellis’s room and shut the door. “I just wanted to thank you again for what you did today. I know it was a small procedure but, well, you know how it is. Zola had a shunt revision a few months ago and it scared the hell out of me. My kids are all I have left of Derek and I’s relationship.” “Yeah, I get it. It was no problem. She was so brave in there, just like her mother.” Hayes smiled at Meredith. Meredith grabbed his hands and stood there, looking deep into his eyes. They never wanted to break eye contact. She wanted to kiss him. Their date the night before was amazing, and there was an obvious connection between the two surgeons. She knew that the nurses would probably rat them out though, so she refrained. She also didn’t know if he was ready. She wanted him to tell her he could handle it first. Their moment was broken by Amelia cracking the door open.  
“Hey, Mer, she’s asking for you. She also says that she’s hungry.” Amelia said. Hayes chuckled. “I’ll go grab her some jello. What’s her flavour?” “Strawberry, if there is any. If there isn’t, grape will do.” Hayes grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze one last time. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He winked at her. Meredith blushed and turned back to her sister, entering her daughter’s room.  
Just as she turned around to close Ellis’s door again, she saw Andrew DeLuca at the end of the hall. He’d seen her as she closed the door, but all she could think was ‘did he see me with Hayes? How much did he see? Is he going to confront me about it?’ Instead of dwelling on DeLuca, she focused her attention back to her sisters. “Okay, Mer WHAT was that?” Amelia wasted no time cutting to the chase, and clearly had seen everything. “It was nothing.” Mer tried to play it off nonchalantly. “No. You’re not fooling anyone. That was one of the most intense sessions of eye sex I’ve ever seen. You looked like you wanted to grab him and make out with him. The sexual tension was through the roof and I could tell just through the window!” “AMELIA.” Meredith said, swatting her sister’s shoulders. “You’re not denying it. Seems like Cristina’s package is quite the eye candy for you.” “Okay fine, I did want to kiss him. And the date last night was perfect. But I really would rather wait until we go home to talk about anything.” “Okay, that’s fair.” Amelia said, reluctantly giving in. Hayes got back with Ellis’s strawberry jello and said a quick goodbye to the Grey-Shepherd ladies. Not even seconds later, Meredith saw DeLuca approaching Hayes out of the corner of her eye and knew that he had seen everything. Crap.


	3. Flirting in Plain Daylight

Meredith turned to Amelia and asked, “Hey, Amelia, take a peek outside the window. What’s going on? I saw Andrew approaching Hayes.” Amelia took a peek from the side of the window. “It seems like Andrew is really upset with Hayes. Do you know what that’s about?” Meredith shook her head and sighed. “He saw me with Hayes when I was out there a few minutes ago. I was hoping he hadn’t. I should probably go talk to them, right?” “Yeah. You probably should.” ‘Ugh’, she thought. She just wanted to take care of Ellis. 

Andrew was furious. He’d left for a month to go to a treatment center and all of a sudden, he comes back to someone new looking at Meredith like that. And of course, it was Hayes of all people. He always seemed to find a way to be around her, and she always enjoyed it. And now they’re staring each other down after working on a case together? Andrew was sure they didn’t have to work together – Grey Sloan was filled with general surgeons. He could’ve paged Jo, Bailey, or Richard. Anyone but Meredith. 

Meredith walked out to Andrew’s voice escalating at Hayes. “Hey, guys, what’s going on?” Hayes seemed relieved at Mer’s arrival. “Uh, to be honest I’m not really sure. DeLuca just approached me out of nowhere. What is going on?”  
“What’s going on is I should not have come back after a month of treatment to see my girlfriend holding some other guy’s hands and staring at him the way you did. And you-“ Andrew shifted his focus back to Hayes. “You’ve been pining after Meredith for months now and as soon as I’m out of the picture for even a few weeks you swoop in to steal her away from me!”  
Meredith seemed taken aback, as did Hayes. He looked at her confused, and she shot down his worry before she even spoke. “Okay, Andrew. Calm down. I’m not your girlfriend. You dumped me. I was the one who initiated things, so don’t take your shock out on Hayes.” Her attempt at calming Andrew down just seemed to frustrate him more. “This only started because he always works with you! There are 4 general surgeons in this hospital who are capable enough to help in the OR, and yet you always choose Meredith. And now I have to watch the way you two stare at each other like that after every case?” “Okay pal, we haven’t worked together as much as you think, and when we do it’s because she happens to be there at the same time.” Hayes said calmly, trying his best to defend Meredith and de-escalate the situation.  
“Also, if you couldn’t tell, I wasn’t working today. We weren’t on a case together.” Andrew rolled his eyes. “Okay, now you’re just lying to me to make me feel better. Two surgeons exiting a patient recovery room? I’m not blind Mer. I can put two and two together.”  
“Ellis is in the hospital, and Hayes and Jo operated on her. Can you not see Amelia in there, snooping?” Meredith said, pointing to the window, where Amelia’s head peeked out. Hayes laughed a little.  
“Oh.” Andrew realized his mistake. “I’m sorry Mer. I didn’t know.” Meredith sighed. “I'm sorry. I didn't expect you to know, I'm just a little frustrated. But Andrew, you just got out of your treatment. You should go rest, be with your sister. Ease back into things. I want to get back to my daughter. Please.” Andrew nodded his head and walked away. “I’m sorry about that, Hayes.” “Don’t worry about it. Go back to your girl. I’ll check in again in the morning.” He placed a hand on Meredith’s shoulder, and walked away. 

Meredith turned around and headed back into her daughter’s room. “So?” Amelia said, concerned. “Andrew was still under the impression that we were together and got really pissed about Hayes and I.” “Ohh no.” Amelia said. “Oh yeah. So, I had to explain to him that we weren’t together, and that I initiated things with Hayes. I’m worried things will be awkward between Hayes and I after all this. He accused him of pining after me for months.” Meredith laid down on the hospital bed beside her daughter. “Well, he’s not necessarily wrong about that. I’ve noticed how he’s looked at you since he got here. I don’t know if he was pining per say, but he was certainly intrigued.” Meredith and Amelia sat in silence for a few minutes when Ellis spoke up. “I always love you mama.” Meredith’s heart melted. “Sweet girl, I love you too. Always have and always will.” She hugged her daughter and stroked her hair. “Hey Mer, I’m gonna head back to the house to be with Maggie and the kids. Are you going to be alright here by yourself?” Mer nodded her head. Ellis was already drifting off to sleep, and Meredith found herself fighting to keep her eyes open. She said goodnight to her sister and snuggled in closer to her youngest daughter. Before falling asleep, she called Zola and Bailey to say goodnight to them as well. 

At 6am the next morning, there was a slight knock at the door. Meredith opened the door to find Hayes all ready for the work day. “Oh, hey. You’re here earlier than I thought you would be.” Meredith smiled at him. “Thought I’d come in a little early. May I?” Mer nodded her head and opened the door for him to come in. To his surprise, Ellis was already awake and waiting for her mother's go-ahead to play. “Good morning Ellis, how are you feeling?” He asked her. “Good. Can I get up and play?” Ellis sassed. “Can I take a look at your little incision?” “Yeah I guess.” Ellis shrugged. She certainly had her little personality back. Hayes checked the incision and gave Ellis the all clear to get up. “You recovered fast.” Hayes chuckled as Meredith helped Ellis off the bed and onto the floor. She took a pen out of Meredith’s purse and proceeded to sit down to draw on a napkin. “Mama, can you put on some music?” Meredith laughed, and handed Ellis a pair of headphones hooked up to some of her favourite music.  
“So,” Meredith started to say before Hayes cut her off. “You don’t need to say anything, Grey.” Meredith looked confused and then smiled. “You don’t even know what I was going to say.” Hayes looked down, smiling. “Probably something along the lines of ‘so, about last night. I’m sorry about DeLuca, how are you doing?’ Am I right?” Meredith rolled her eyes.  
“Okay, never mind. You did know what I was going to say. The only other people who were ever able to do that were Cristina, Alex, and Derek. But seriously, are you okay? DeLuca said a lot of things last night, and I want to make sure it’s not going to complicate anything.”  
“What would it complicate?” Hayes said smugly, sitting down in a chair. “I just didn’t know if it would complicate… us.” Meredith looked down sheepishly. Hayes grinned. “So… you’re admitting that there is going to be an ‘us’?” Hayes raised an eyebrow. Meredith looked at him, surprised. “Be serious here for a second. We went on a date, I had fun and I think you did too. And I would like to go on another date, potentially. But I don’t know if what Andrew said last night… I don’t know. You seemed a little embarrassed when you left.” “Well, I certainly was a little taken aback. You know, he was right. I’ve been interested in you since I arrived. You took me off guard, Grey. But I wasn’t going to pursue you until I knew DeLuca was out of the picture. I didn’t want to interfere in your relationship.” Meredith shot Hayes a small smile. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve definitely been interested since you got here as well.” Meredith smirked at him. “So, what you’re saying is, we should schedule another date?” Hayes teased. “As a matter of fact, I think we should.” Meredith flirted back. Suddenly Hayes’ pager went off. “I... have to go. If she keeps doing well, I’ll try to come by around noon with discharge papers. If I can't, I'll have Jo come by. And we… can talk about other things later.” Meredith knew he had to go but didn’t like being left hanging. “Okay. I’ll see you later.” Meredith waved bye as Hayes rushed out the door. Meredith turned around and crouched down beside Ellis, removing the headphones from off of her ears. “What are you drawing sweet girl?” “A kitty cat” Mer smiled at her youngest daughter and continued to sit with her while they waited for the okay from Hayes to go home. She really couldn’t wait to go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the new chapter! Things got a little intense during this chapter! Mer and Hayes are really going to up their flirting in the next couple of chapters. How will DeLuca react to it? Just a few more weeks til they're back on our TV screens!!! Hopefully we'll really see their relationship develop in the upcoming season!


	4. Vulnerability

Mer and Ellis went home around noon the day after her surgery. Mer spent Ellis’ first 2 days back at home with her, spoiling her rotten. Maggie, Jo, and Amelia had agreed with Meredith to rotate shifts at home with Ellis for the next week while she recovered fully. Heading into work for the first time after Ellis’s surgery was worrisome for Meredith, but she knew that her youngest daughter was in good hands with Maggie. She hadn’t bothered to think about her last conversation with Hayes while she was at home with Ellis, but now that she was going back to work, it was all she could think about. She was excited to plan another date with the Irish doctor. As she entered the attending’s lounge bathroom to change, her phone rang. None other than her best friend, Cristina Yang.  
“Hey!” Meredith said enthusiastically to Cristina.  
“Tell me why I had to find out from Amelia of all people, that you and McWidow went out on a date?!” Cristina said, shocked. She had sent Hayes over to Grey-Sloan, describing him to Meredith as a ‘gift’ of sorts, dubbing him McWidow – the 4th McNickname she’d ever dished out. She only gave those nicknames to very important people in Mer’s life. She knew Mer deserved someone humble, respectful, and uncomplicated, and that she and Hayes would get along very, very well. She just didn’t think she’d hear the news about their first date from Amelia Shepherd.  
“Well, I was going to tell you right after it happened. But Ellis got sick and needed surgery the next day, so my mind was focused on other things.” Meredith said, huffing as she undressed. Of course, Amelia would tell Cristina – she hadn’t stopped bugging Meredith about the date since Ellis went home. Maggie and Jo hadn’t either, those three were gossip leeches when it came to Meredith’s love life.  
“Oh man, is she okay? How’s she doing?” Cristina was interested in Mer’s date with Hayes, but also understood that the kids were more important to Mer than anyone else.  
“She’s doing good! Loving all the extra attention. Maggie’s with her, and I’m back at work today.” Meredith smiled. Thousands of miles away and Cristina was still able to know how Meredith was feeling at the drop of a hat.  
“Good! Good. Now – tell me about that date.” Cristina wasted no time going back to the original subject. She’d only heard about it through a grapevine and she wanted all the details.  
“You’re persistent. But fine, I guess I owe you an explanation.” Meredith sighed as she put on her scrub top.  
“Damn right you do.” Cristina meant business. Fully dressed, Meredith exited the bathroom and sat down on the sofa, placing her phone next to her on speaker.  
“Well, basically, he’d asked me out first, to get drinks. About a month ago – right after Richard’s diagnosis and hip replacement. I said yes but after all the sleep I’d lost while trying to figure out what was wrong with Richard, I asked if he could ask me again another time. He, of course, said sure. And we parted ways. A couple of weeks later Maggie had convinced me to re-ask him out. So, I did. We went to dinner. And it was great. We had a lot of fun. And no, before you ask, nothing happened. Then the next day he saved Ellis’s life. And that’s it.” Cristina was impressed. Had Mer not answered her question while she was explaining it, Cristina probably would have asked if they’d kissed.  
“Wow – Meredith Grey, I am impressed. When’s the next date? Cause clearly you want one. I can hear it in your voice when you talk about him.” Cristina pushed, knowing that she was still well within her boundaries of pushing the conversation before Meredith said no.  
“We kind of… teased each other about the idea of another date the morning Ellis went home? He came into the hospital early to see us. I don’t know, I was hoping to talk to him about it later today.” Meredith said, as she heard footsteps coming towards the attendings lounge, assuming it was Jo or Bailey.  
“Talk to who, about what?” Hayes’s Irish accent called out from the doorframe. He knew she was talking about him, albeit not who with, but he knew she’d laugh if he teased her about it. From Meredith’s phone, a familiar voice rang.  
“Ohhh my GOD. Ha, ha, ha.” Cristina Yang howled with laughter. She could’ve seen this one coming from a mile away – and yet it still made her laugh.  
“Dr. Yang, how lovely to hear your voice again.” Hayes smirked as he watched the faces Meredith made while trying to figure out an explanation in her head.  
“Ah, Dr. Hayes. I’ve missed the Irish accent around the hospital. How’s Seattle treating you?” Cristina’s voice raised at the end, stifling back her laughter. The two surgeons both knew what they were doing, and they were doing it well. Meredith was speechless.  
“Oh, I think Seattle might be one of my new favourite places to live. The coffee is to die for, and…” Hayes’ voice trailed off as he sat down beside Meredith. “The people here are pretty great.” Hayes smiled devilishly at Meredith. All she could do was sit in shock, smiling at the interaction that was taking place.  
“Hey, I told you so. My favourite person in the world lives there.” Meredith finally snapped out of her shock.  
“Aw, Cristina, that’s probably one of the most sentimental things you’ve said about me.” Meredith said, partially sarcastically, smiling at the phone.  
“Not you - Zola. She’s my bestie!” Meredith laughed. Cristina never wanted to be a mom, and never would, but she loved Mer’s kids with her whole heart. “I’m kidding. You’re my person. We both know that. Now, Hayes listen carefully.” Hayes laughed and rolled his eyes, anticipating the remark that Cristina was inevitably going to make. “You take care of Mer. She’s not someone who will ask for help when she needs it – and she’s good at being independent. She obviously doesn’t need someone by her side, but it doesn’t hurt to have it either. And for god’s sake, take her on that second date already!” Cristina said, desperately serious, after which she promptly hung up the phone.  
“What… just happened.” Meredith said, laughing.  
“You heard the woman; I have to take you on a second date.” Hayes smiled brightly at Mer.  
“And what did you have in mind, Dr. Hayes?” Meredith said, smirking as she leaned back onto the couch.  
“Well – ideally there would be dinner, a movie, and maybe a long walk through downtown Seattle late at night.” Hayes smirked back at Meredith, as Meredith raised her eyebrow at him.  
“Consider me intrigued. If you were to ask me, I’d definitely consider it.” Meredith quietly laughed.  
“Well then, Grey, are you free on Friday night to go to dinner, a movie, and a leisurely stroll downtown?” Hayes already knew the answer, and Meredith knew that he knew as well, but they were enjoying their little game.  
“I think I could manage to fit it into my schedule.” Meredith eyes sparkled as she said yes. Both of them knew that they got off early on the Friday, so there was never any doubt as to if they’d have time. But it made their relationship feel flirtier and fun and feel somewhat secretive – even though pretty much all of Meredith’s family already knew about the pair. 

Hayes and Meredith were lucky that day, as they were able to work together on a case from the ER. A 16-year-old girl had come in with her father, complaining of intense pain in her left side, severe nausea, and cold skin. A quick ultrasound by Meredith revealed that the young girl had a ruptured ovarian cyst, and the girl was having major internal bleeding. The girl’s father revealed that she had had a previous cyst when she was 14, but that it didn’t cause any issues beforehand. The young girl was rushed up to surgery, and with the only resident around being Casey Parker, the two surgeons were free to discuss whatever they wanted. Meredith knew that Parker was pretty good at keeping OR conversations to himself. They both decided in the scrub room that they wouldn’t discuss their date with the anesthesiologist and scrub nurses around, because they were notorious gossips, and they didn’t want the whole hospital finding out through a grapevine. But they did discuss Abigail and Derek – some of their favourite stories from when they first met their spouses, and throughout their marriage.  
“You know, when Abigail and I found out that both our boys were boys, I was a little relieved. I feel like if I had a daughter, I’d be so worried about stuff like this happening all the time.” Hayes said to Meredith as they worked to control the bleeding in the young girl, at the same time, trying to save the ovary.  
“Ninety percent of my time alone is spent worrying about the girls, and if Zola or Ellis will have endometriosis, PCOS, or some other debilitating medical issue tied to them as they grow up. That and the Alzheimer’s with Bailey and Ellis. It’s really exhausting.” Meredith let out a slight laugh.  
“I can only imagine. I remember the day that we did the liver transplant on Elisa – the day DeLuca almost lost his hands for her. When he was yelling at you, and said ‘I don’t accuse you of having Alzheimer’s every time you forget something, do I?’ I had actually stopped by to thank him for getting the liver. I was concerned about you as you left the room – you looked really hurt. I hope you know I’d never say something like that.” Hayes said sympathetically. He knew that Andrew was very sick and manic when he said that, but he also knew that there was probably some truth behind what DeLuca said to Meredith.  
“Thanks. It’s a touchy subject – I’ve lost so many important people in my life to the disease. My mom, and Richard’s first wife Adele specifically. I’ve got the genetic markers for it – and I worry about Maggie for that same reason as well. Derek had actually tried multiple times to find a cure for it. He even once told Dr. Bailey that every time I forgot where my keys were, he panicked. He cared so much. One of our wedding vows said that if I got Alzheimer’s that he’d remind me every day who he was. And now he can’t do that.” Meredith sighed – she missed Derek.  
“He’ll find a way. I constantly feel Abigail around, reminding me that even though she’s gone – she’s always here with me and the boys. It’s a nice reminder of the speech she said to me before she died. Sometimes I forget and get upset with myself for pursuing someone new.” Hayes finished with a huff. Meredith didn’t even need to respond; she knew exactly what ‘speech’ Hayes was talking about and understood how he felt. She looked up at him, giving him a sympathetic half-smile. She also knew that he was talking about pursuing her.  
“Derek also told me something similar before we started trying for kids. He said that he didn’t want me to be alone – that if anything were to happen to him, he didn’t want it to be just me. So I get how you feel – I knew Derek wanted me to be happy, but I still felt guilty, and some days I still do, I still feel married. That feeling doesn’t really ever go away. I wonder if Derek and Abigail know each other – wherever they are. When I died, I saw a bunch of people in my life who had passed away. I even got to see my mom as she died.-“ Meredith started to explain.  
“Hold up, you died? Am I talking to a ghost?” Meredith laughed.  
“Well, yes I died – but no I’m not a ghost. I drowned in my intern year after a ferry boat crash. Derek went into the water and saved me. But I was technically cold-and-dead for a while. Apparently, I was warm-and-dead for a period of time as well. In my afterlife, I saw important patients and people in my life that had passed away. One of them, Denny, told me that he didn’t get to see Izzie anymore – but that when they were in the same spot at the same time, he could feel her, and that was it. All it was, was small moments. So I decided to live – and as I was getting myself ready to restart my heart, my mom came into the afterlife and I knew she died. Cristina made them give me one extra round of ACLS drugs, and, well, here I am. Alive.”  
“Now that is one of the wilder stories I’ve heard, beginning to end. Yang told me about the plane crash and the shooting, but this one takes the crown.” After a slight silence, Hayes spoke up again. “I’m glad you decided to live.”  
Meredith smiled at Hayes. “Thanks. Me too.” After that conversation, there was a comfortable silence in the OR.  
30 minutes go by, and the two finish up repairing the uterus and fallopian tubes.  
“Parker, we’re all done here. Can you close?” Hayes took off his gloves and threw out his OR gown, then looked at the resident, who was eager to be back in an OR after months of treatment for PTSD. “Dr. Grey, would you like to come with me to go update the family?” Hayes looked at her as she stepped away from the OR table, taking off her gloves and OR gown as well.  
“Yeah, I’ll catch up to you in a second.” Meredith smiled at him. He left the OR, and just before leaving, she quickly turned to Parker and said, “Parker – any conversations you heard in this OR today, any assumptions I know you’re making, keep them to yourself. Please.”  
Parker nodded his head, not to draw his focus away from his sutures. “You got it, Dr. Grey.”  
“Great, thanks.” She threw her gown and gloves in their respective bins, and ripped off her mask as she exited the OR, jogging down the hall to catch up with Hayes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always thought it would be super fun to have Hayes accidentally come in while Mer and Cristina were talking on the phone. Also, Mermac OR action is always a good time. 21 days til they're back on our screens, doing what they do best!


	5. Foiled Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting - between a hectic university schedule, and a disability it's been a little hard to write. Hope you all enjoy this chapter, though!

The week passed surprisingly quickly. Both Meredith and Hayes expected the week to drag out and feel like their date would never arrive. The opposite happened – their caseload was fairly heavy during the week, causing time to fly by. Meredith had been so busy that she hadn’t even told her sisters about the date. So, when she showed up to work with an outfit fit for a date, Amelia and Maggie were all over it.  
“Who’s got you looking so good?” Maggie dramatically draped herself over Meredith, fawning over the light blue blouse that she had worn to work that day.  
Amelia laughed and stepped over to the other side of Meredith, side-eyeing Maggie and saying “I think I can guess who…” smirking, as Meredith tried to hide her embarrassment.  
“I think we have the same person in our heads, Amelia.” Maggie responded, giggling.  
“Would you two stop?” Meredith plead, as she unbuttoned her blouse, reaching for her scrub top from her bag. “Yes, I’m going on a date, and yes it’s with who you’re thinking of, but I don’t understand why you guys are making such a big deal about it.” Meredith raised her eyebrows at her sisters.  
“Oh, Mer, let us have some fun! We haven’t seen you this happy in a long time.” Amelia said, as she took Meredith’s top and folded it neatly, placing it in her cubby.  
“Well then you definitely cannot ‘have some fun’. Just be happy for me!” Meredith said to Amelia.  
“C’mon Mer, you can’t take allll of our fun away. You being happy is a good thing. Let it be good!” Amelia said happily, as Mer put on her scrub bottoms. Mer tried to shoot her sisters her best ‘seriously’ face – but it was no use. Maggie and Amelia’s smiling, happy faces made her break out into a huge smile.  
“Fine, but can you at least tone it down for now? Nothing is official yet; we don’t really want people knowing.” Meredith asked her sisters.  
“Fine. But just so you know, I’m really happy for you.” Meredith smiled at Maggie, who had pulled her in for a hug. More than anything in the world, she wanted Meredith and Amelia to be happy. She was so glad that they’d found people who were uncomplicated, and who made them smile.  
Before Meredith could respond, Bailey paged all 3 women to the pit, 9-1-1. They looked at each other, confused, but then took off.  
A mass casualty had happened in Seattle, and patients were filing into Grey-Sloan ER faster than they had seen in a while. A massive fire had occurred at Seattle’s largest mall, causing the electricals and even flammable cans of aerosol sprays to blow up. Grey-Sloan and Seattle Pres were both receiving massive amounts of patients with burns, blunt force traumas to the chest and abdomen, and deep penetrating head lacs. Jackson, Cormac, Richard, Owen, Teddy, Link, Nico, Tom, Jo, and all the residents were already down in the pit, on standby as Bailey briefed them on the situation, and gave each of them their orders. Hayes shot Meredith a look as she entered the ER with Maggie and Amelia. Meredith knew all too well what that look meant. It was the ‘We should probably reschedule’ look. Meredith nodded at Hayes, affirming his thought about rescheduling. He didn’t want to reschedule, but this was an all-hands-on-deck situation, and they both knew full well that they would likely be working all day.  
“Grey, Shepherd. You two are on bed 4. Penetrating head lac and abdominal wound.” Bailey called out to them. “Helm, Parker, you’re with them.”  
“Pierce, Koracick – bed 7, blunt force trauma to the chest. DeLuca, you’re with them.” Maggie and Tom had already put on their trauma gowns and had made their way over to the patient before Bailey told them which resident they had with them – and frankly, they didn’t care about who was with them either.  
“Link, Jo, Schmitt – bed 6. Altman, Kim, Brody – you’re on Bed 3. Webber, Avery – bed 2.” Bailey took a breather. “Hayes, Simms, you two, and I are looking after bed 9.” Bailey said, pointing at a 2-year-old boy who had just finished being triaged. She finished giving out her orders, and Owen took over running the ER.  
Sure enough, all the doctors were surmounted with chaos as the day progressed. By the time Meredith had seen her last patient, it was 10:30pm. She found it hard to keep her eyes open as she finished updating patient charts and filing paperwork.  
A knock at her door startled her enough to wake her up slightly, though. Hayes stood in the doorframe, wide awake.  
“Oh, hey. Come in” Meredith said as she yawned.  
“How many patients did you have today?” Hayes looked at her, concerned.  
“Uh… 5 or 6. Or maybe 7. I can’t really remember, honestly.” Meredith shook her head, trying to keep herself awake.  
“You look exhausted.” Hayes said as he sat down beside Mer.  
“You’d be correct.” A short silence. “We were supposed to have a date tonight.” Mer smiled at Hayes, as she acknowledged the elephant in the room.  
“Yes, we were. And though I want to say that the night is still young, because I want to spend time with you, I can see that you need to go home and sleep. So how about we get coffee from the attending’s lounge, and then I’ll drive you home? You shouldn’t be driving when you’re this tired” Hayes offered, a small smile on his face. Meredith laughed.  
“That would be wonderful – I can ask Amelia to drive my car home instead of carpooling with Maggie or Link.” Meredith turned off her computer and stood up. The two surgeons left for the attending's lounge, where Mer’s stuff was and also a large pot of coffee – hopefully.  
As Meredith changed out of her scrubs and into her outfit from the morning, Hayes made 2 coffees – one for himself, and one for Meredith. Both of them were glad they could still spend some time together, even if their date was interrupted.  
Meredith exited the bathroom just as Hayes finished preparing their coffee. Hayes did a double take when Meredith appeared beside him.  
“You know, I really am a little disappointed I don’t get to see you in this outfit for as long as I should have.” Hayes raised an eyebrow at Mer, who immediately smiled back at him.  
“You know, we don’t have to leave immediately after we finish our coffees.” Meredith flirted, smirking at him. She took the coffee from his hand and whispered ‘thank you’ as she took a sip.  
“I wouldn’t mind staying here a few extra minutes with you, as long as you’re not too tired.” The two doctors sat down beside each other on the couch. Meredith curled up, resting her head on Hayes’ shoulder. It’d been her first instinct, and after she realized what she’d done, she looked up at Hayes. “You’re good.” Hayes responded to her look of worry. She relaxed, letting herself get comfortable. It was nice, the silence. Meredith felt like everything in the world was okay for the short time. As much as Meredith wanted to finish the coffee that Hayes had made for her, she found herself dozing off as she rested on his shoulder. Hayes looked down at Meredith, seeing that she was ready for sleep.  
“Alright, sleepyhead. Let’s get you home.” Hayes said, which startled Meredith awake. She was enjoying the silence and comfort. She smiled slightly at Hayes’s voice, and also at the thought of being at home, in her warm bed, sleeping. Hayes offered his hand, helping Meredith get up from off the couch. She grabbed her stuff, and they headed to his car.  
“Even though our date got interrupted tonight, I’m still glad I got to spend a little bit of time with you.” Meredith said, looking over at Hayes. He smiled.  
“Me too. But I still do want to take you on that real date. How does Sunday evening sound?” Hayes said, turning quickly to look at Meredith. She tensed up a little when he did that.  
“Sunday sounds perfect. I can be ready for 6pm.” Meredith said, trying to ease her car anxiety.  
“You okay? You seemed a little tense when I looked at you.” Hayes was worried that he may have said something to make Meredith uneasy.  
“No, it’s not you. Derek died in a car accident. I always get a little anxious when people take their eyes off the road. Sorry.” Meredith said, easing both his and her own anxiety.  
“Don’t be sorry – I get it. I’ll make sure to be careful when you’re in the car.” Meredith was extremely grateful that Hayes was being so respectful and accommodating. She reached her hand out, grabbing his hand that wasn’t on the driver wheel. When he proceeded to interlock their fingers, she knew she was okay. He never took his eyes off the road the entire ride home.  
When they pulled into Meredith’s driveway, they both sat in the car for a few minutes, not wanting to leave each other. Meredith didn’t want to let go of his hand. If she was being honest, she wanted to interlock more than just their fingers. She was feeling a very deep, intense urge to kiss him with everything she had in her – but she knew that she’d already made a few risky moves that night – she didn’t want to push him to do something he wasn’t comfortable with.  
“I… should probably get going inside. I’m really glad we spent a little bit of time together tonight, it made up for the chaos that was today.” Meredith smiled at Hayes.  
“Me too. Alright, get going to sleep. You need it.” Hayes responded, looking deep into her eyes. She gave his hand a slight squeeze, then left the car. Hayes watched to make sure she got into her house alright, then headed out for his short drive home to his boys.


	6. A First

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a long one! Major fluff. Enjoy!

2 hours of sleep. That’s all Meredith got before her phone lit up like the lights on Broadway, and Amelia was outside Meredith’s door, calling for her to get up. Maggie had already been briefed on what happened and was staying with the kids.  
Amelia dragged a half-awake Meredith out the door, and promptly took off to the hospital. Meredith was frankly too tired to ask why she was being dragged to Grey-Sloan, which may have been her saving grace. Amelia wasn’t speeding, but she was certainly glad that the traffic in Seattle was light, and that they could get to the hospital quickly.  
Amelia parked Meredith’s car, and dragged her in. Meredith quickly found her way to a cup of coffee, and before she could ask what was going on, Amelia had disappeared. Meredith was beyond confused – it was 1am, and everything was relatively quiet for Grey-Sloan standards. Why would Amelia drag her to the hospital with such urgency? She figured that maybe their patient from the mass casualty needed an emergency repair – but as she went to the patient’s room, they were fast asleep, hooked up to the vent. Their stats and their levels were normal.  
So, she wandered to the ER. She figured Amelia would have updated her in the car if someone in the ER needed care – but that’s what the overnight staff were for. As she entered the ER, she heard a little commotion. From the few voices, Meredith heard a familiar Irish accent say, “Dr. Shepherd, I’m fine. Seriously.”  
“Okay, Dr. Hayes, you were hit by a drunk driver. You say you’re okay, but I still need to make sure it’s nothing. And we also need to run a CT to make sure there’s no internal injuries.” She heard Amelia respond. Meredith’s heart just about sunk to the bottom of her gut. Should she go over there and find out the full story? Or should she stay back and wait?  
“Dad, just let her make sure you’re okay.” Liam said. Meredith decided she definitely couldn’t go over there. Meredith heard Hayes sigh begrudgingly, followed by silence from him. She sat on a gurney, drinking her coffee. She knew now why Amelia had brought her here. She knew that Meredith wouldn’t have taken well to finding out Hayes was in an accident after-the-fact.  
As Amelia took Hayes off to CT, Austin and Liam were guided to the family waiting room.  
Meredith felt a deep urge in her core to go check in on the boys – they were old enough to remember losing their mom and they were probably scared. So, she got up and made her way to the waiting room. Sure enough, Austin and Liam were sitting alone in the family area. Meredith approached the boys, and cautiously said, “Hey, guys, are you okay?”  
Austin and Liam only slightly recognized Meredith but were appreciative of the arrival of an adult who might have an idea of what was happening with their dad.  
Austin looked up at Meredith, and said “Do you know if our dad is okay?” Meredith’s heart broke for the boys.  
“No, I don’t. I’m sorry, guys. But I can wait with you here until we find out?” Meredith offered. Both boys nodded their heads. She hadn’t had to deal with teenagers yet but knew that they could sometime be a bit stand off-ish and could really bottle up their feelings. These two boys had already suffered a hard loss in their life once, so they weren’t holding back on how terrified they were.  
Meredith tried to make small conversation with Austin and Liam as they waited for Amelia to return with news about Hayes.  
20 minutes later and Amelia came bearing good news for the boys. She was surprised to find Meredith with them.  
“Hey guys, I’m gonna take you up to see your dad. He’s lucky – he’s a little sore because he has some minor bruising from his seatbelt, but other than that he came out of that unscathed. He’s gonna stay here overnight since his car got wrecked, but he should be all good to go home tomorrow morning.” Amelia smiled at the boys, then shot a small smile to Meredith, who’d placed her hands over her chest, and was thanking Derek for keeping Hayes safe. As soon as Amelia left with Austin and Liam, Meredith headed to an on-call room to get some much-needed sleep. She slept soundly until 7am, when Amelia texted her that Hayes had been asking to see her.  
It didn’t take long for Meredith to reach his room, and she was grateful to see him awake, smiling, and with very little marks or bruises. He smiled at her as she approached the room.  
“How’d you get here so quickly?” He said with a confused look.  
“I’ve been here since 1am. Amelia dragged me to the hospital with her when she came in.” Meredith said as she entered the room, sitting down on a chair beside him.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want you finding out about it when it happened.” Hayes looked down. Meredith knew he just wanted to protect her from any pain or hurt she might feel from knowing he was involved in a crash. “I promise I was paying attention to the road. I promise I didn’t take my eyes off anything, I-“ Meredith cut him off by grabbing his hand.  
“I know, Hayes. You can do everything right, and drunk drivers will still mess everything up. You’re okay though. You’re not seriously injured.” Meredith was saying it to calm down Hayes, and also serve herself a reminder that everything was okay.  
“Hey, where’d your boys go? I was with them last night while you were in CT.” Hayes smiled at the thought of Meredith with his kids.  
“They went to the cafeteria with Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Bailey to get breakfast. And thank you, for staying with them.” Meredith smiled at him slightly.  
“It was my pleasure, they’re sweet kids. They were scared out of their mind; I think it helped to have an adult there with them.” Hayes nodded at her. He motioned for her to come sit down beside him on the bed. So, she got up and sat beside him. She rested her head on his shoulder – something she wished she could’ve been able to do with Derek the day of his crash.  
“I’m really, really, glad you’re okay.” Meredith sighed. Both of them understood the weight of a car crash in her life.  
“Can I still take you on that date tomorrow? I need a good distraction.” Meredith laughed at Hayes’ blunt question.  
“I would love nothing more.” Meredith looked up at Hayes, their faces were inches apart. Both of them had a good idea about what was inevitably going to happen.  
“It’s okay, you’re good.” Hayes reassured Meredith. He knew that this was going to be one of his biggest firsts since Abigail’s death, but knew he was ready because it was Meredith.  
She placed a hand on his cheek, and after a few seconds of stalling, Hayes whispered to her “Grey, if you don’t, I will.” They both wanted it. Faster than she could process, her lips were on his.  
This first kiss was unlike all of Meredith’s previous kisses post-Derek. There was a slight desperation between the two of them, while also feeling completely natural, unrushed, and right. She hadn’t had a kiss feel so right since Derek. Hayes couldn’t have imagined having another first kiss until meeting Meredith – and he was glad she was the person it was with.  
They pulled apart and Meredith’s hand stayed on his face, her thumb stroking his cheek.  
“That was perfect. You are perfect.” Hayes kissed her forehead, and Meredith resumed laying her head on his shoulder. Not even 2 minutes later, Meredith heard Amelia’s voice ring out from down the hallway. She quickly got up and sat down in the chair beside the bed, acting as if nothing had just happened between the two of them. Meredith’s sudden change in behaviour confused Hayes until he heard Amelia and his kids get closer to the room. He laughed and nodded at Meredith. It was probably a good idea to wait to tell the boys that he’d started dating, for now at least.  
Meredith smiled at Amelia as she, Austin, and Liam entered the room.  
“Hey guys, how was breakfast?” Meredith said, attempting to make small talk with the two teenagers.  
“Good, I guess.” Austin responded. Their typical teenager persona was back. Meredith was a little relieved, if she was being honest.  
“Well, lads, I guess we’d better figure out a way to get home – shouldn’t we?” Hayes told his boys.  
“I don’t have to work today – I don’t mind getting everyone home.” Meredith smiled slightly.  
Amelia was grinning from ear to ear, like only she could. She could sense that something had shifted between Meredith and Hayes but couldn’t necessarily put her finger on what is was exactly.  
“That would be great – thanks, Grey. Alright lads – get your stuff together and let’s get home.” Meredith stood up, and as she was leaving said, “Give me 15 minutes and I should be all ready to go.”  
Amelia followed Meredith out of the room and as soon as they were out of earshot, started pestering Meredith about Hayes.  
“Meredith Grey, there was some serious sexual tension between the two of you in there. What did you do?” Amelia elbowed her sister repeatedly. Meredith smirked at Amelia, confirming her suspicions that something had changed between them.  
They reached the attending’s lounge, and after Meredith had gathered the few things she’d brought to the hospital with her in the middle of the night, she sat down beside Amelia on the couch.  
“Now can you please tell me what happened with you two, I feel like I could cry at any second and I need a distraction.” Amelia pouted. She was 8 weeks post-partum and the hormones that came with it were hitting her hard. Meredith laughed – she remembered crying over every little thing after Bailey and Ellis’s births.  
“Okay, fine – but only because I know what it’s like to be so hormonal post-partum.” Meredith laughed again. She inhaled, then told her, “We kissed. It wasn’t anything big, it was nice. It felt perfect. I can’t even describe it Amelia. It was just so… right.” Amelia fawned over Meredith’s words.  
“You know, I’ve seen you in every relationship you’ve had since Derek died. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you so… content. And happy. It’s nice to see. I would give anything to have him back, for him to be with us. Meeting Ellis, Link, and Caleb. But I know that like seeing you so happy. I hope he’s proud of us.” Amelia sighed. She missed her brother so much, it physically pained her. The pregnancy, and now post-partum hormones often led her to cry to herself or Link about Derek.  
Meredith hugged Amelia and didn’t let go. They had suffered Derek’s loss together. It had torn them apart and brought them back together, even closer. “You know, Derek approves of Link. He wanted the best for you, and I’ve seen the two of you together. Trust me, he approves. He loves Link and he loves his nephew so much.” Meredith said. Amelia sobbed into her sister’s arms. It was exactly what she’d needed to hear. Meredith rubbed Amelia’s back and consoled her. Her tears prompted Meredith to start crying a little too. They let go of each other and wiped their tears from their eyes.  
“Do you mind if I tag along for the ride home? I want to get home and be with Link and Caleb” Amelia said to Meredith as she attempted to stop her tears from continuing.  
“Yeah, of course. There’s room in the car. We’ll have to move some car seats, but whatever.” Meredith placed a hand on Amelia’s upper arm, then received a text from Hayes.  
“Ready to go?” it read.  
She texted back, “Yep, for the most part. Amelia is going to be tagging along too, she just needs a minute to get her stuff.”  
Not even a few seconds later, “We’ll be waiting near the front entrance.”  
Meredith smiled at her phone. She knew she’d have to call Cristina later in the day and tell her about the kiss.  
“Oh, Mer, just so you know – I’m having a dinner party tomorrow night. I only invited a few people over – Bailey and Warren, Kepner, Jo, Avery, Link, Maggie, Owen, and Teddy. You’re welcome to invite Hayes if you want.” Meredith was taken aback at the surprise dinner party.  
“Um, Amelia, I’m supposed to be going on a date tomorrow night. I guess I’ll see if we can switch things around.” Amelia smiled at her.  
“Cool!” After taking a couple of more minutes to round up her stuff, the 5 headed on their way.  
When they got to Hayes’s house, Austin and Liam immediately left the car and head into the house.  
Hayes got out too and circled over to Meredith’s driver side. She rolled down her window. He eyed Amelia in the passenger seat.  
“Amelia already knows about everything so don’t worry about hiding around her.” Hayes chuckled.  
“So, I guess I’ll be seeing you tomorrow?” He said smiling at her.  
“Yeah – although I was wondering if we could change plans just a little bit.” Hayes looked at her, confused.  
“Amelia’s having a bit of a hospital dinner party tomorrow evening. So instead of doing dinner, I was hoping we could meet a bit earlier in the day, do something else, and then go to the dinner party together.” Meredith made her best ‘pretty please’ face. Hayes chuckled at her expression.  
“Yeah, sure. Sounds like fun.” Hayes smiled at Meredith and Amelia, who both looked ecstatic.  
“Great, you’re the best.” Meredith smiled wide, and tilted her head up, kissing Hayes for a moment, something he embraced happily. “Alright, go get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Meredith smiled at him.  
“You know, I’m having a little bit of deja-vu right now.” Both of them laughed.  
“I am too. But seriously, go rest. Don’t want you being too tired or sore on our date tomorrow.” Meredith winked, and waved bye. He began walking away, and just before he got out of earshot, he heard Amelia pipe up with an enthusiastic ‘yay!’ He heard Meredith laugh at it, and she watched as he turned around and laughed with her, then turned back around and entered his house. Meredith pulled out of the driveway once she knew Hayes was in his house okay, and she and Amelia headed back home to be with their babies, Link, and Jo, who’d taken over for Maggie with babysitting just a few hours prior.


	7. The Second Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the new chapter - less than one week til the new season premieres! So excited to see how the Merhayes relationship develops over the course of the season!

Sunday morning. The morning of their date. Meredith was experiencing every emotion she could possibly feel at once. Stress, from having to help Amelia set up for the dinner party while simultaneously getting ready for her date, excitement for the night ahead, and worry that something would go horribly wrong.  
Hayes, on the other hand, was more than excited. He hadn’t truly gotten to know everyone over at Grey-Sloan, so he was glad he had been given the opportunity to not only spend quality time with Meredith, but also get to know the people she cared about the most and make friends. 

After hours of running around her house like a madman, April Kepner showed up at the house, ready to prepare food and relieve Meredith of some of her stress. She finally sat down in her room, staring at her closet. What was she supposed to wear? With Amelia, Maggie, and April downstairs cooking up a storm, she couldn’t call on any of them to help her. So, she called Cristina instead.  
Cristina picked up instantly. “Hey, what’s up?” She seemed like she had just gotten home. Perfect timing.  
“Hey. I’m going on a date and to a dinner party tonight – I don’t even know where to start for something to wear. Everyone else is downstairs cooking.” Meredith explained to her best friend. Cristina raised an eyebrow at Meredith. “A date, you say? Interesting. Alright, let me see what you got.” Meredith turned her camera around at the closet and pointed to some contenders. 30 minutes later, after some back and forth, Meredith and Cristina finally landed on the perfect outfit – a perfect balance between comfortable, cute, and casual. Dark blue jeans, a white turtleneck, a black coat, gold jewelry and nude suede booties. It was quite cold out that day, so Meredith’s main goal above all was to stay warm.  
Meredith got dressed and returned back to her phone, remembering that she still hadn’t told Cristina about the kiss.  
“So, I think I have information you’ll be happy to hear about.” Meredith told Cristina, as she laid down on her bed. “Hayes and I kissed.” Cristina’s eyes widened, and a giant smile spread across her face.  
“You’re kidding. Oh my god, how was it? How did it happen? Give me the details, Mer!” Meredith laughed at her best friend’s ecstasy and recalled the previous day’s events.  
“I’m telling you Cristina, it felt so right.” She explained, while a beaming Cristina listened to the story intently.  
“I’m happy for you. Also, you’re welcome.” Cristina took pride in knowing that she was the one who had sent him over there in the first place. Meredith rolled her eyes. The women talked on the phone for another 10 minutes, and Meredith heard a knock at the door.  
“Alright, he’s here. I’ll call you during the dinner party so you can say hi to everyone later tonight.” Meredith closed the call, and by the time she got downstairs, April, Maggie, and Amelia surrounded him in the entryway. She figured Amelia had probably scrambled to get to the door as soon as she saw him pull in the driveway. April was confused as to who he was and why he was there for Meredith – and so she asked a copious amount of questions.  
“Alright ladies, back off.” Meredith said, laughing at Maggie and April who’d just been hounding Hayes with questions. Maggie called out ‘ooh la la’ as Meredith reached the bottom of the stairs.  
“Thanks, Cristina helped me pick it out. Alright, Amelia, what time do you want us back here for dinner?” Meredith said as she pushed through the gaggle of women surrounding her date.  
“6pm please. Also, we have to prepare extra food since some of the kids are gonna be here. `Obviously, Zola, Bailey, Ellis and Caleb will be there, but Jackson is bringing Harriet, and since we need people to watch the littles in the living room, Tuck and Joey are coming with Ben and Bailey.” Amelia explained, and Meredith’s eyes widened.  
“Okay, great. We’ll be back at 6.” Meredith responded. And with that, she grabbed Hayes’s hand, swiftly turning around and exiting the house. Hayes quickly waved goodbye to the ladies inside, and they made their way to Hayes’s rental car. 

“So, what do you have planned for the couple of hours we have alone before dinner starts and chaos ensues?” Meredith said with a slight laugh. Without taking his eyes off the road, he said, “You’ll see.” Meredith looked over at him, and caught a smirk forming on his face. The drive wasn’t very long, about 10 minutes, and Meredith had figured out where they were going as they got closer to the ‘secret’ destination.  
“The Washington Park Arboretum. Good choice.” Meredith said through a smile. She hadn’t been there in a while, and the last time she was there, it was with Alex.  
“I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t figure it out, but also knew you probably would. I’ve heard it’s got some beautiful trails.” Hayes told her, smiling. Meredith let out a slight laugh.  
“Yeah, I can confirm that it’s absolutely gorgeous there, especially right now.” A couple of minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot. Meredith picked a couple of short trails, and the two headed on their way around the Arboretum. For an hour and a half, they held hands while they flirted, explored the park and took in the sights while talking about Derek and Abigail, their kids, stories from Switzerland and residency, and more. As they reached a bridge nearing the end of their last trail, they stood still, overlooking the pond beneath them.  
“I have to admit, I’m looking forward to dinner tonight. I think it’ll be nice to get to know everyone outside of the hospital and start to fit in a little bit more.” Hayes said, looking over at Meredith, who was taking in all the scenery around her.  
“I think you’re fitting in with us perfectly.” She turned to look at him, shooting him a small smile, which he reciprocated.  
“Listen, Meredith. I don’t know what’s going to happen with us down the line. But I know that I’m happy right now, and I think you’re happy too.” She nodded. “I didn’t think I could be happy with anyone else after Abigail. But I am, and I don’t want to keep it hidden.” Hayes looked up, as he processed his words and deliberated very carefully on what he was going to say next.  
“What are you saying?” Meredith’s heart was beating out of her chest. Hayes closed his eyes, taking a deep breath in.  
“I’m saying… I want us to make things official. I want you to tell your kids, and your friends, that we’re together, if you feel comfortable doing that. And I want to tell my boys that you’re my girlfriend.” They were staring deeply into each other’s eyes. “However, I’ll understand if you’re not ready to do that yet. I won’t push you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with.”  
“I…” She started saying, moving closer to Hayes, taking his hands in hers. Her eyes were directly locked with his. “I want that too. I would love nothing more.” Hayes smiled brightly at her, and Meredith pulled him close to her, so that they were inches apart. Not even seconds later, his arms were around her waist, and he kissed her deeply, and she gladly reciprocated it. As they pulled away, neither of them could break the smiles on their faces. Meredith thought back to when she was with DeLuca – he was fun, but she never expected the relationship to be anything more than just that. This time was different. They didn’t push each other, and they were taking it slow. The relationship was still fun and flirting, but with a deep knowledge that it could go further than just being physical with each other. They wanted to do things right.  
“Hayes, this is a big first for you, and there are plenty more firsts to follow. You deserve the opportunity to do things at your own pace. I didn’t get that support after Derek died. I was sometimes pushed to ‘move on’ before I knew I was ready. I want you to promise that you’ll be honest with me if you’re feeling overwhelmed, or if you’re not ready to do something that I am. Don’t force yourself to do something if you don’t feel 100% ready, even if I want it. Okay?” Her hand was placed on his cheek. Hayes broke from their eye contact, looking up at the sky. “Okay, I promise.” She smiled at him again, placing a quick kiss on his lips.  
“It’s 20 minutes to dinner. Let’s head back to my house before Amelia starts thinking we’re ditching.” Meredith said with a slight laugh, prompting a similar reaction out of Hayes. She grabbed his hand, and he laced their fingers together as they walked back to the car.  
Everyone had already arrived by the time that Hayes and Meredith pulled up. “Do you want to tell your friends tonight, or do you think we should wait?” Hayes said as he unbuckled his seatbelt.  
“Amelia and Maggie have likely already told everyone else that we went out before dinner, so I imagine that we’ll probably have to. Although, I don’t mind telling them either way. We’ll have to report it to Bailey and Koracick anyways. I’ll just have to make sure my kids are out of earshot – I want to tell them privately.” Hayes nodded at her, and exited the car, as did Meredith. Side by side, they walked up to the house, unbeknownst to the chaos that was about to ensue.


	8. The Dinner Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - this one is LONG. But eeek! It's finally Grey's week! We're finally going to get new Merhayes scenes after 8 long months of hardly anything. I'm genuinely stoked to add Grey's back into my weekly routine. And to my American readers, I send my congratulations on the results of the election all the way from Canada. I'm genuinely so glad you are getting rid of the cheeto in charge, and elected a President who cares about human rights and democracy. Also, I tried out a new writing format with this chapter - let me know how you like it! As always, enjoy!

Meredith opened the doors to her house, and she and Hayes were met with laughter and joy from every room, and the smell of turkey radiating throughout the house. The laughter died down very quickly as everyone realized Hayes and Meredith had entered. Bailey was sipping on a glass of wine and eyeing the couple up and down from a corner in the kitchen. Meredith played it cool, taking off her jacket. Hayes did too and looked around to see who all was where. Link held Caleb as he sat on the couch, and waved Hayes over to come sit down beside him, Owen, and Jackson.  
“I’ll be right back down; I’m going to go get changed. I feel a little under-dressed.” Meredith said to Hayes with a slight chuckle. “Sounds good.” He gave her hand a quick squeeze, and then walked over to the group of men who were laughing at Harriet, who was reaching out her little hand and trying to pet the baby. Meredith quickly ran upstairs and got changed into something a little fancier and sexier. She grabbed her phone, and texted Cristina, asking her when she wanted Mer to facetime her. Then, she headed downstairs to see her the kids, her sisters, friends, and now boyfriend. She walked over to Link, who was showing off his son to anyone and everyone.  
“Alright, I want some time with my nephew. Pass him here, Lincoln.” Meredith said, with her arms extended, ready to hold Caleb. She could sense Hayes eyeing her up and down, but she decided she’d let him stare a little longer before joining him on the couch. Link begrudgingly passed Caleb off to Meredith, who quickly cradled the 2-month-old baby, kissing his little head and cooing at him. She kissed the top of Zola’s head, who said hi to her mom and cousin, then headed up to her room, where Joey, Tuck, Bailey, and Ellis were. Mer headed into the kitchen where April, Teddy, and Maggie were finishing things up with dinner - and Amelia, Jo, and Bailey were seated at the island, all smiling and smirking at her. Bailey was still eyeing her. Meredith had figured that Amelia or Maggie would tell all the adults about the date, and by the smirks and stares at her from the women in the kitchen, and the slight teasing from the men to Hayes, she knew that she was right. Lucky for Meredith, the baby was a good enough distraction for the ladies in the kitchen that the subject wasn’t going to be brought up just yet.  
Amelia stood up and hugged her sister from the side, while running her hand over her son’s head, as he dozed off to sleep in his Aunt’s arms. She gave him a quick kiss and motioned for Meredith to sit down beside her. Meredith stood over beside Amelia’s shoulder, but didn’t sit down since she was rocking the baby to sleep.  
“You know, you’re pretty lucky. Ellis and Bailey were never this easy to rock to sleep when they were babies.” Meredith said with a smile to her sister. Maggie turned around from her station at the kitchen and placed a small kiss on her nephew’s forehead.  
“Oh, he’s just so perfect.” Maggie fawned over the infant. “I know, we made a perfect kid.” Amelia smiled brightly. Meredith looked over and gave a thumbs up to Link, who was smiling with so much love and pride over his son. Her eyes glanced over, meeting Hayes’s eyes. He looked down at Caleb, then back at her and gave her a warm smile which she reciprocated. She looked back down at her nephew, who was now fast asleep.  
“So…” Amelia started. Meredith knew that Amelia had seen the smile shared between the new couple, which meant copious amounts of teasing from all the ladies in the kitchen was about to ensue. “Tell us about that date.” She finished. Bailey chimed in, “yeah, Grey… what’s that all about?” Meredith could sense every eye on her, and every ear waiting to hear about the date. The men especially, who had tried multiple times but hadn’t gotten a word out of Hayes. “We walked around at the Arboretum. That’s it.” She explained – and she was technically telling the truth. She just left out a singular important detail. “Mhmmm… you guys and your dating hospital staff. Do you know how many HR relationship reports I get each month at this point?” Bailey said, judging Meredith lovingly. “You started dating Ben when he was an anesthesiologist and married him when he was a surgical resident. Don’t give me that.” Meredith stated, raising her eyebrows at Bailey – this prompted laughter from the kitchen full of women, and Owen, Jackson, and Ben from the living room. “If you weren’t holding that baby, I’d smack you Grey.” Bailey said sarcastically, smiling and shaking her head. Meredith smiled brightly, scrunching her nose. Still bouncing Caleb lightly, she pivoted on her heel, exiting the kitchen and sitting down beside Hayes on the couch.  
“Oh, he is really cute.” Hayes said as he looked over Meredith’s shoulder to take a look at the baby. Meredith turned her head and smiled at Hayes. He met her gaze and smiled right back at her.  
Jo and Maggie set the table, as Teddy pulled the final things out of the oven and Amelia called everyone over to eat. As everyone stood up to head to the dining room, Meredith brought her non-supportive arm out from underneath Caleb, and reached her hand out to Harriet, who ran over to take it. She stood up and lead the toddler up the stairs and into the room with all the kids. She carefully passed Caleb over to Joey, and like the dream-baby he was, he stayed fast asleep. The kids had already been fed 30 minutes before Meredith and Hayes had arrived, so they were playing happily with their toys and enjoying torturing the older boys.  
She gave instructions to Joey about Caleb, and quickly rejoined the adults downstairs. To absolutely no surprise, they had saved the spot beside Hayes for Meredith. She took her seat, and everyone made small conversation as they passed food around. Everyone laughed over fond memories and teased each other as they ate. Hayes was bonding really well with Link and Jackson, as they conversed about their children and sports. The atmosphere in the house was light and comedic. No major drama, unlike the last time she’d hosted a big dinner party at that house.  
As the food dwindled, conversations swirled around the dinner table. Meredith listened intently, not partaking too much in the conversations around her. She remembered last time, how Penny showed up and shoved a wedge in between her and Amelia. As she thought some more, and those thoughts began to deafen out the conversations beside her, a hand on her outer thigh snapped her back to reality. She turned her head quickly, meeting Hayes’s eyes. He looked at her with a little concern, after noticing her slight change in mood. “You okay?” He whispered in her ear. She leaned into him, and whispered back, “Yeah, I am. Just listening. Promise.” She grabbed his hand that was on her leg and laced their fingers together. Before pulling their faces away from each other, Hayes placed a small kiss on Meredith’s forehead, catching the attention of every single person around the table. They all stared at them, waiting of one of them to say something.  
“What? You guys are looking at us like you’ve never seen a guy kiss their girlfriend like that.” Meredith responded to all the eyes on her and Hayes, officially confirming that they had placed a label on themselves. The table caught on quickly to what Meredith was insinuating, and everyone immediately broke out into smiles and cheers, celebrating their happiness. Amelia reached out her hand, and squeezed Meredith’s arm, smiling so brightly. “I knew something more had happened. I’m happy that you’re so happy.” Hayes turned to look at Amelia as well. She looked back and forth between her sister and Hayes, who were both smiling at her and each other.  
Suddenly a small vibration came from her phone in her pocket. It was Cristina saying, “I’m good to go whenever you are.” Meredith smiled at her phone, and quickly facetimed her best friend.  
“Hey guys, look who it is!” Meredith said to the table as Cristina answered the phone. She turned her phone around, so everyone could see Cristina waving to them. A chorus of “oh my god!” and enthusiastic hello’s rung out from everyone. Meredith laughed at everyone’s reaction. Teddy was the most enthusiastic. She’d visited Cristina in Switzerland a couple of times when she was living in Germany, and she’d missed her former student quite a great deal. She hadn’t told Cristina why she moved back to Seattle, however. Meredith turned the phone back to herself, and immediately Teddy, Jackson, Bailey, and April got up and huddled behind her.  
They talked and reminisced for a little while. Everyone else stopped by and said hi, and eventually Bailey and Teddy left to go help out, but Jackson and April huddled closely beside Meredith on the couch, catching up with their friend. About 20 minutes later, Cristina said goodbye to everyone, as it was very late in Switzerland and she had to be at work later in the morning. The adults adjusted themselves on the couch accordingly, and left space for Amelia in between Meredith and Link, since she’d gone upstairs to get and feed her son. Meredith rested her head on Hayes’ shoulder, and he slipped an arm behind her back and around her waist. Amelia joined the group with Caleb, and everyone fawned over the baby boy who was wide awake and looking around at the family around him.  
15 minutes later the doorbell rang. Everyone looked at each other, not wanting to stand up. Meredith gave in and stood up. “Fine, I’ll go get it.” She made her way over to the door, unlocking it to see none other than Andrew DeLuca standing there. Without even looking back, she exited the house and quickly closed the door behind her, before he could say anything. This confused just about everyone inside the house.  
“Andrew, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?” As rough as things had ended, Meredith did still care for the resident. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Thanks for asking. I came here to apologize, for my behaviour the other week. It was out of line, and I’m sorry.” He told her, and he truly did mean it. Meredith was glad to see Andrew healthy and that he was trying to make amends. “I forgive you.” She told him. She was hoping that was all, and that she could get back inside. Unfortunately, in Meredith Grey’s world, ‘simple’ was not something that came by too often.  
“I want us to start over, Meredith. I miss you and I want you back.” Andrew said out of the blue, after Meredith turned ever so slightly towards the house. She whipped her head back around, and her heart sunk through her chest. “Andrew… I care about you, and I would like to start over, as friends. We can’t be together. I’m sorry.” Andrew’s eyebrows furrowed, completely confused. “What do you mean? Why not?” He still hadn’t thought of the possibility of Meredith and Hayes being together.  
“I’m… I’m with someone else, now.” Meredith said softly. Andrew’s eyes widened. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Let me guess, you’re talking about Hayes.” Andrew crossed his arms, and Meredith nodded. He rolled his eyes at her response. “Please don’t get angry, Andrew.” She said, trying to diffuse the situation before it exploded. “Too late for that.” Meredith felt every emotion under the sun – she was furious, she was heartbroken, and yet she still cared so deeply for Andrew, but the only outcome he could accept was her being with him instead of Hayes. That’s when the arguing started.  
Inside the house, Amelia was relentlessly and inappropriately teasing Hayes, trying to distract him. He was concerned about Mer. Hayes ignored Amelia’s taunts, and looked to her, saying, “She’s been out there a long time. Should I go out and see what the problem is?” He didn’t want to intrude, but he wanted to help her out if he could. Amelia turned her head and peeked out the curtain. She quickly shot her head back around. “No, absolutely do not.” That response clued Hayes into exactly who was outside, and he was truthfully a little annoyed. As commotion started to build and the adults could hear the two out front talking very loudly at each other, Amelia handed Caleb to Hayes and rushed to the front porch, with Link and Maggie behind her, in order to settle whatever was going on out there.  
“Hey guys, what’s going on?” Amelia said lightly, as she stepped out onto the porch. The two exes finally stopped arguing as Maggie, Link, and Amelia intervened. Meredith was hurting and was rightfully pissed off. She wanted nothing more than to be friends with Andrew, but he couldn’t accept that she had moved on. He wanted her to be happy with him, but she was happy with Hayes now. She was more than happy to be his friend and care about him, but it wasn’t enough. He figured that since he’d gotten his disorder under control, Meredith would automatically want to be with him again. It didn’t help him that he kept talking about Derek – something that kept breaking her heart over and over again.  
Link walked over and placed his hand on Andrew’s shoulder. He sat him down on the bench in front of the house and talked him down as best possible. Amelia and Maggie escorted Meredith back into the house. They’d hoped she’d come back into the living room, but instead she walked right upstairs. Everyone in the house was silent. Hayes watched her walk away, and he was furious that she was hurting. Maggie and Amelia nodded at each other and followed Meredith upstairs. She had gone into the room with the kids. Zola hugged her mom immediately, as did Bailey and Ellis when they looked up from their toys and realized she was there. Her grief was hitting her hard. She wanted Derek back so bad. She stared at Bailey for what felt like an eternity, picking out every single feature he had of Derek’s. Then she did the same with Ellis.  
When she finally left the kids room, Maggie and Amelia were already waiting outside the door. They followed her into her bedroom and sat her down on the bed.  
“Mer, are you okay? What happened out there?” Maggie said softly, rubbing Meredith’s arm. “I told him about Hayes and me. He was understandably upset, but he kept bringing up Derek. It kept making me think about the fact that he’s gone. I’m happy, with Hayes, obviously. But God, what I would give to have him back for even one day. I wish the kids looked more like him.” A tear rolled down her face. Amelia pushed Meredith’s hair out of her face, and she and Maggie enveloped her in a hug. The tears flowed as her sisters comforted her.  
A slight knock on the door broke the hug up. “Who is it?” Maggie said. “It’s just me. Is it okay if I come in?” Hayes’s Irish accent rung from behind the closed door. Maggie looked to Meredith, who nodded. “Yeah, come on in.” The doorknob turned, and in came Hayes, still holding Caleb. He had been concerned since Meredith answered the door but became more visibly concerned as he saw Meredith’s tear stained eyes. He knew the look in her eye – the look of grief. He’d had that look plenty of times. Without saying a word, he passed the baby over to Amelia and wrapped Meredith in a tight hug. Immediately she felt better. Maggie and Amelia sensed Meredith’s ease, and left the two to be alone.  
They broke their hug and Hayes sat down beside Meredith. “Are you okay?” He asked seriously, looking deep into her eyes. “I am now.” “Are you sure?” He rubbed her back with one hand, while the other caressed her cheek. “Yeah, I am. I promise.” She grabbed the hand on her cheek and placed a small kiss on his palm. He hugged her again, and she sunk into his embrace. She let herself rest in his arms for what felt like forever. When they finally broke apart, Hayes looked Mer up and down. “I didn’t get to tell you earlier tonight, but…” He wrapped his arms around her waist. “You look so incredibly beautiful.” Meredith smirked at him. She had a feeling he’d like her outfit. “Oh yeah?” She smirked even wider, wrapping her arms around his neck and hooking one of her legs over his, bringing herself closer to him. He grinned at her devilishly, and responded, “Mhm”. The low tone in his voice was enough to set Meredith over the edge, and she very passionately kissed him, which he’d been waiting to do pretty much all night. It was one of those kisses that had she been with anyone else, she already would’ve had half of their clothes off. But not with him. She knew full well that he wasn’t ready, and she wanted him to let her know when he was.  
15 minutes later they finally headed downstairs, and everyone looked at Meredith, concerned. She settled in on the couch beside Hayes, and let everyone know that she was okay now, as she rested her head on his shoulder. Meredith shifted slightly to look at Link. “What happened after I went inside?” She placed her palm on Hayes’ chest, and felt his heart rate increase when she asked it. She placed a small peck on his cheek, which calmed him down. Link sighed heavily and explained that he spent 10 minutes outside with DeLuca. “I told him how I had to accept that you and DeLuca were together when you chose him over me. I was upset about it, of course, but when I met Amelia, I realized that everything happens for a reason. Now he’s the one dealing with that hurt, but he’ll find someone who makes him as happy as Amelia makes me. I think he understood what I was saying, and it helped to have advice from someone who went through the exact same thing. I think he’ll be okay now. You guys are free to do… whatever you want, whenever you want, around the hospital now.” Link teased them. Bailey made a disgusted face at Link and corrected him. “Not whatever you want, and especially not whenever you want, you two. No being nasty. Got too many nurses and doctors doing that already.” Bailey eyed Amelia and Link, to which Amelia smiled brightly. She loved Link and was unapologetic about it. Meredith and Hayes laughed. “You shouldn’t have to worry about it too much right now.” Hayes said with a laugh, insinuating that she would indeed have to worry about it a lot, but later on. Bailey caught on and made another disgusted face.  
Conversation flowed around for another 40 minutes, lightly, and happily. One by one, people started to leave as it got later and the start of the next workday drew nearer, until the only people left were the people who lived in the house, and Hayes. Maggie was upstairs with the kids, Link and Amelia were putting Caleb to sleep and getting ready to sleep themselves, which left Hayes and Meredith downstairs alone.  
“It’s getting pretty late; I should probably head back home to my boys, shouldn’t I?” He looked at her, as she closed her eyes and sighed. “Mmm… yeah. You probably should. I don’t want you to though.” She said with a slight chuckle. The arm he had loosely around her shoulder tightened around her waist, nuzzling her closer to him. “I had a lot of fun tonight, except for when you were arguing with DeLuca.” He told her, prompting a tiny laugh from her. “That wasn’t great, but I mean, it wasn’t all bad.” Meredith referred to their intense make-out session up in her bedroom. Her hand trailed down his chest, until she wrapped both of her arms around his torso. A small smile spread across his face, understanding exactly what she was talking about. “You are amazing.” He said, kissing her forehead. She met his gaze, and whispered in his ear, “And you… are everything I needed and more.” She kissed his ear, then his neck, jaw, and finally their lips met again. One very long, romantic kiss later, and they finally stood up so Hayes could get home to his kids and sleep before work the next morning.  
“So, I guess I’ll see you again tomorrow.” Hayes said as he stood outside her door. “Oh, absolutely.” She smiled brightly at him. One final quick kiss, and the new couple said their goodbyes, anticipating seeing each other again the next day, and hoping they’d get to work together.


	9. Always Around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I get on with writing this chapter, I want to thank everyone for being patient with chapter updates. I’m so glad people are enjoying the story and engaging with it. I realize it’s been awhile since I last updated the fic, and it’s because between being busy with school, I’ve also been really sick and have recently been diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome, making it hard to type on my laptop. As I recover from my sickness, deal with the carpal tunnel, and also head into finals season in university, I’m going to let you all know now that chapter updates over the next few weeks will be very limited. I only expect to release one or maybe 2 more chapters in the next few weeks, but I will see based on how life is working out for me in the moment. I appreciate everyone’s patience with the story and that everyone is so eager for updates. As for plot, I do plan on incorporating some elements from season 17 into the fic, but the pandemic and many major plotlines will not be storylines that appear in the fic. I want to provide escapism with the fic, and I feel that incorporating the pandemic would take away from it just a little. Okay, with that all being said, onto chapter 9.

Besides maybe her bed, Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital was Meredith’s favourite place in the world. As much as that place had taken from her and as often as she’d grieved there, so many more amazing gifts had been given to her, and she’d done her fair share of celebrating both big and small wins there. Now she had another new happiness to tack onto her list of amazing things that she found at Grey-Sloan; Cormac Hayes. Word at that hospital spread like wildfire, so by lunch time nearly half the staff knew that she and Hayes were officially an item – but they’d totally been expecting it to happen for months, so no one was really all that surprised. 

Meredith sat the attending’s lounge table, fixing her hair and talking to Jo. Jo was exuberant – she’d just pulled off an insane surgery and was riding the high from it. Meredith listened intently, she hadn’t spent much time with Jo in awhile and it was nice to catch up with her friend. “How are you doing? With the whole Alex situation?” Meredith asked Jo. It’d been about 2 months since Alex had left them, and she knew that Jo had a really rough time dealing with it for the first few weeks. “I was so angry for a really long time. I couldn’t understand why he’d leave so inexplicably. I still wish he’d have given me the respect of calling me or telling me in person. But I think I’ve gotten through that anger, and now I don’t know. Part of me wants to get out there again, but I also don’t know if I want to commit to anyone or anything for a little while.” Jo rested her elbow on the table, and her head in palm.  
“Who says you have to commit to anyone or anything?” Meredith smirked at Jo. “You can still get back into the playing field without jumping into anything major.” She laughed at Jo who had looked confused at first, then realized what she was insinuating and made a disgusted face at her. “Oh, god Meredith, seriously?” Meredith raised her eyebrows at Jo, smirking. “Do things at your own pace, but don’t be scared to play the field a little bit. You don’t have anything to lose.” Meredith laughed and winked at Jo. Right as Meredith went to stand up, she received a 911 page from Hayes to the ER. She smiled at her phone, which Jo took notice to quite quickly. “Duty calls.” Meredith said as she turned to Jo, smiling. “Oh yeah, what kind of duty?” Jo smirked at Meredith who was now slightly flustered and laughing. “Work duty, Wilson.” To which she spun on her heel and quickly made her way to the ER.  
“Hey,” Meredith said softly as she walked up behind Hayes, placing her hand on his back. He was stressed out, but relieved when he heard Meredith’s voice and felt her touch. “I got your page, is everything okay? What do we have?” Hayes turned to face Meredith. “5-year-old girl, internal bleeding and several major bruises on her abdomen. Her organs are in all the wrong places. It’s a mess, Grey. We did some tests, I got her stabilized and she’s being prepped for surgery right now, but I don’t know how long she’ll stay stable. I was hoping you’d join me in the OR. It looks like it might be a long surgery and I’d appreciate the help and the company.” “Of course.” Meredith smiled at her boyfriend. It still felt so odd, having those labels on themselves. Hayes handed Meredith the girl’s chart, and they quickly made their way over to the OR.  
The two surgeons quickly scrubbed in as the young girl became unstable again. They walked into the OR, got gowned and gloved, and began to open the little girl’s abdomen, unprepared for just how much of a mess it was. Hayes and Meredith were practically silent for the first 2 hours, as they worked together to control the bleeding. Once they got the bleeding stabilized, their conversation picked up and they worked to put the young girl’s organs back into their correct place.  
“What the hell happened that led to this? I mean, it’s pretty clear that someone did this to her, but why? Who could be so heartless and cruel?” Meredith shook her head. Hayes’ gaze met Meredith’s and he shot her an empathetic look. “I don’t know – I’ve seen too many young children come in so bruised and beat up over the years from parents or family members. They come in scared of absolutely every adult around them. It’s gut wrenching to try and help them when they can’t tell if you’re someone safe or someone who’s going to hurt them again.” Hayes told her, to which Meredith scoffed. “It’s just wrong. It’s so, so wrong. When Derek and I were choosing babysitters for Bailey and Zola, we had a list of correct or decent answers for each question we asked, and if they didn’t answer all of them suitably, they were off the table. I’m glad he did that, now that I look back on it. We found people I trust with our kids. I don’t know if I’d ever forgive myself if they got hurt by someone I chose to put them with.” She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath in and shaking her head again. “I can’t even imagine what this little girl was feeling when she came in.” She finished. Hayes adjusted the light so he and Meredith could get a better look at what they were dealing with. Meredith peered into the girl’s abdomen and froze. Hayes did the same and looked up at Meredith when he saw what she had. “Grey…” His voice trailed off. The girl had a massive hole in her heart. “Page cardio, right now!” Meredith yelled. When the hole was uncovered, she began to de-compensate. Hayes took over looking after the heart, and Meredith worked quickly to get better visualization for cardio.  
“What do we have” Maggie said as she bust open the OR door. Meredith whipped her head around to look at her sister. “5-year-old girl, massive internal trauma, we just found a giant hole in her heart. Mags, it’s not good. Go scrub and get in here.” Maggie nodded and quickly made her way into the scrub room. A few minutes later, she entered the OR, and was put into a gown and gloves. “Alright, let me see.” Maggie got up to the OR table and stood beside Meredith. The young girl was still in distress and they couldn’t get her to stabilize, no matter what they tried.  
For hours, Maggie, Hayes, and Meredith worked together to save the little girl’s life. Unfortunately, the world was cruel and unjust, and the small child didn’t make it through surgery. Meredith’s heart weighed heavy as she called time of death, thinking about her own girls and how their patient should have had her whole life ahead of her. Meredith could feel her eyes stinging as she scrubbed out, and the tears welling up as Hayes and Maggie explained to the girl’s mother that she hadn’t made it through surgery. Meredith spaced out as the deafening cries from the mother infiltrated her headspace. She looked up to notice that the girl’s father hardly reacted to the news that they were breaking. It infuriated Meredith to think that he had hurt that little girl and ended her life. She turned away from the adults and stormed off, furious.  
She sat in an on-call room, having just gotten off the phone with the police station. She let them know the situation, and the lack of a reaction from the father. They told her that they’d do an investigation, and when she hung up, Meredith sat on the bed, her heart feeling like it could drop out from her chest, trying to take a deep breath. It was no use, the tears started flowing and she couldn’t get them to stop. The kind of cry you could only bring up from another mom with young daughters. A knock on the door caught Meredith off guard and she wiped the tears from her eyes. She sniffled and responded to the knock, “Just a minute” to which the door immediately opened, revealing that Hayes was the one on the other side. He saw her tear stained eyes to which he immediately closed the door and went to her, sitting down beside her on the side of the bed. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and she stared into space, but her body automatically placed itself into his embrace, and without thinking she rested her head down on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his torso. The couple sat in silence – Hayes didn’t have to ask Meredith what the issue was. He knew that all she was thinking about was her daughters. Hayes placed a small kiss on Meredith’s forehead. “Do you have any other surgeries this afternoon?” He asked after many minutes of complete silence. “Uh, just one. In about an hour and a half.” She responded, looking up at him. “Well, I’ll tell you what. You go do what you do best, save a life, and then when you’re done your surgery, I’ll drive you home and get you back to your kids. Okay?” Meredith nodded and felt a tear slip down her cheek, which Hayes wiped away with his thumb. Meredith let out a deep breath, and she shot him a tiny smile. He smiled back at her and kissed her softly, then wrapped his arms all the way around her waist, pulling her in tightly.  
The end of Meredith’s day came quickly, and as she finished doing some final paperwork, Hayes knocked on her office door. “Hey” she smiled brightly at him. “I’m happy to see your smile again.” Hayes smirked. “I’m almost ready to head home. Thank you, by the way, for earlier.” Meredith said as she stood up, and she kissed him lightly. “You’re welcome. I’ll always be around if you need some support.” Meredith laughed slightly and hugged her boyfriend. “Yeah, but I’m always glad to have you around. On the good and the bad days. Oh, how’s your arm and your chest feeling?” Meredith said, referring to the crash he’d been in that resulted in some whiplash and bruising. “I barely notice it now.” He responded, and she smiled at him, running her hand up and down his bicep. The two broke apart from their hug and Meredith grabbed her purse. “I’m going to go get changed out of these scrubs, do you mind waiting here?” “Yeah, no problem.” Meredith smiled and turned away from Hayes, walking out of her office, now just ready to get home and be with her kids.  
20 minutes later, Hayes was pulling into Meredith’s driveway. “Thanks for the ride.” Meredith smiled at him. “Any time, go hug those babies.” Hayes told her. Meredith leaned into Hayes and kissed him, then pulled back and told him, “I think I’m going to tell them about us soon. I don’t know when, exactly. But I want you to be there when I do.” Hayes nodded back at Meredith. “Me too. I don’t know how my lads will react to finding out that I’m dating again – I hope they’ll take it well.” Meredith shot Hayes a half-smile. “We can cross that bridge when it comes down to it.” She grabbed his hand. “Alright, I’m serious, go see your kids. I’ll talk to you later tonight, and I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow.” They smiled at each other, and Meredith let go of Hayes’ hand. Finally she exited the car, the two waved goodbye to each other, and Meredith went inside to spoil her children and give them her undivided attention after her crazy day.


	10. A Night to Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I get into this chapter, I want to thank you all for being so patient with updates. I hit a bit of writer’s block with the story, and it wasn’t until just these past few days, and more specifically tonight at midnight (as I write this it is 3:30am), with the help of my friend @NotAnSvuFanPage on twitter, that I was finally able to really hit my writing stride with this chapter and finish it. So, a huge thanks to her for writing a lot of the second half of this chapter. I don't know if I could've finished the chapter without her help.  
> Between the lack of Hayes in recent episodes, finals in University, plus a disability and an illness that like to flare up every few days, I’ve mainly been writing one-shots, headcannons, and prompts. Things that are making me happy in the moment. If you want to read them, I would highly suggest following my tumblr page @merwxdows, where I post one-shots quite frequently. I also post a lot of headcannons and mini-fics on my twitter, under the same username as my tumblr.  
> Finally, this is your warning – because of the content in this chapter, the rating of this fic has been upgraded to MATURE. If you are in any way uncomfortable reading mature content, I would skip this chapter. I will be putting warnings in front of any mature chapters I post from here on out. Once again, thank you all for your patience. I hope to release 2 more chapters before the New Year, but I will have to see how life decides to treat me in the next few weeks. Chapter 10 of Begin Again is very long, to hopefully make up for the lack in updates recently. Enjoy.

“Austin and Liam are with their aunt for the weekend… would you be able to/ be interested in maybe spending the night? I’ve missed you.” Was the text Meredith received from Hayes on an otherwise regular Friday evening. It’d been 3 weeks since they’d made their relationship official, and while they tried to stop by each other’s offices as often as possible, work had been separately running them both mad, which meant they hadn’t worked together or seen each other outside of work more than a couple times since the dinner party. For once, things worked out in Meredith’s favour. Maggie wasn’t on-call and was able to watch the kids for her. She hadn’t told the young trio about Hayes yet, since she wanted him to be with her when she did. Unfortunately, their schedules hadn’t necessarily allowed for it. So, of course, Mer jumped on the opportunity to finally spend some quality alone time with Hayes. She explained the situation very briefly to Maggie, came up with an excuse to tell her kids since they didn’t know about the relationship yet, and began to get herself ready to leave. 

20 minutes later, Meredith had packed everything she assume she’d need for a night over at her boyfriend’s house. If she was being honest with herself, she felt quite a bit like a teenager in the moments when she thought about how excited she was to see him and be alone with him. It felt like she was sneaking around, trying not to get caught. But no, she was a grown ass adult with children, in a new but committed relationship. And she was having a sleepover at his house. 

Mer decided against dressing up. She didn’t assume the night would involve anything that required her to look fancy, so she dressed down and comfortable instead. 45 minutes after getting Hayes’ first text, Meredith was hugging her children goodbye and on her way to his house, 15 minutes away. At 5:45pm, Meredith knocked on his door. He was dressed down as well. Thank god. 

He opened the door, and she stepped inside, closing the door behind her. “I’m glad luck was on our side tonight; I truly have missed seeing you for longer than 10 minutes.” He told her as they hugged tightly, like it’d been the first time they’d seen each other in months. “Me too.” She said, smiling at him earnestly after releasing from their hug. She glanced quickly around his house and in his kitchen, spotted baking ingredients scattered across his counter. She looked back at him. “What were you doing before I got here?” She asked, pointing to the mess in the kitchen. Cormac looked over and laughed, forgetting about the atrocity that was his kitchen. 

“Ah, that, yeah – there’s a kid on the peds floor that’s going to be stuck there for a while, his birthday is tomorrow, he was supposed to have a big birthday party. I usually try to make cupcakes or cookies for those kinds of kids if they can handle it, so they have some semblance of a normal birthday. I figured that we could work on it together while we wait for the pizza I ordered to get here.” He explained. Meredith knew from Arizona and Alex that peds surgeons went above and beyond for their patients, but she couldn’t help but admire just how much this man truly cared for every single one of his patients. She was practically speechless. So, she just kissed him instead, and followed it up with, “You’re the best, you know that?” He laughed at her remark. 

“I’ll try my best to help, but I have to warn you now, I’m not known to be very good at baking or anything along those lines.” He smirked and chuckled at that statement as well. “Ah, c’mon Grey, it can’t be that hard. Just follow the instructions and we should have smooth sailing.” He told her, taking her purse and putting it on the couch. “Should is the key word there.” Meredith said through a laugh as she entered the kitchen. She took a look at the recipe she’d be trying to follow and promised herself to double check everything she was doing. This was for a very sick child. She could do this. She could do this… right? She didn’t have much of a choice either way.  
Baking went better than Meredith had initially expected. It didn’t take too long, the batch was fairly small, and while she made a few small errors, Hayes had thankfully caught them before she put it into the batter. After placing the tray in the oven, he turned around and kissed Meredith, who had been standing a few feet away, smiling at him, and admiring him. She set the timer on her phone, and not even moments later, the pizza had arrived. Perfect timing. 

“How about we eat this alongside a movie?” Hayes inquired as he closed the door. “That sounds perfect.” Meredith said as she took the pizza from his hands and placed it on his counter. “What’s your movie of choice?” He asked, which made Meredith laugh. Her Netflix watch history was constantly inundated with the movies her young children were watching. She hadn’t watched an adult movie in many, many years. “The only movies I think of are children’s movies now… what do you have?” She asked as he went to grab plates for the two of them. Meredith figured the movie taste of teenage boys and their father would probably give more options than the Marvel movies and Disney movies that ran on repeat at her house. “Ah, let me think. The movies I normally watch with the boys aren’t things I would necessarily want to watch with you…” Meredith smirked at Hayes as she picked a piece of pizza up and placed it on her plate. “Oh, come on, there has to be one movie that we can watch.” Meredith said as she walked to the living room, sitting down on the couch. Hayes sat down beside her, thinking about the movies they could potentially watch. “How about Night at The Museum?” He asked, pulling up Netflix. “Sure!” 

They sat and ate their pizza, making small conversation about work among other things until the cupcakes were done. The timer on Meredith’s phone went off, and Hayes went to pull the food out of the oven. “It really is so sweet how you do that for your patients.” Meredith exclaimed. “It’s the least I can do. And hey, it’s not like you’ve never gone above and beyond for patients before. Right?” Hayes replied, returning to the living room and sitting back down beside Meredith, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. “Well… I did officiate a wedding once in an ICU room. The couple was supposed to get married the day they came into the ER. The fiancée never got fully better. She was stuck in the hospital for months. So, I married them under a projection of stars right before she died. It was bittersweet.” Hayes reacted to her story with admiration and astonishment. “Like I said… above and beyond, Grey.” He smiled slightly at her and kissed her sweetly. “Okay, let’s get this movie going.” Meredith said afterwards playfully, and Hayes chuckled as he turned back towards the TV and hit play on Netflix.

25 minutes into the movie, Meredith shifted and rested her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder. Jokingly, Hayes nudged his shoulder, looking down at Meredith and laughing. “You think you’re hilarious.” Meredith said as she desperately tried to stifle a laugh. “Yes, I do, actually. And you seem to think so as well.” He grinned at her. In a moment of quick thinking, Mer picked up a pillow and hit Hayes playfully on his shoulder. “Oh, Grey, you do not want to go there.” He said with a smirk, a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Too late.” She said through a grin, hitting him with the pillow again, to which he grabbed the pillow beside him and threw it at her. “You’re just giving me more ammo.” She teased and laughed while throwing the pillow back at him, which landed square in his face, which made her laugh and instinctively back away. She felt like a teenager again, having a pillow fight with her boyfriend while they were supposed to be watching a movie, but she loved it. 

The pillow fight only lasted a few more minutes before the mood changed and Meredith was on top of Hayes staring into his eyes. She kissed him, but there was something different about this kiss. There was so much passion and heat. It didn’t take long for Hayes to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her closer. It was like no matter how much they grabbed at each other they needed to be closer. His tongue lightly ran across her bottom lip asking for permission to enter and she happily accepted. Their tongues met and it felt like the flame of 1000 fires had just been ignited between them. Neither of them could have pinpointed the exact moment where their playful pillow fight turned into… whatever this was becoming… but neither of them had any intentions of letting the inferno burn out any time soon.

He ran his hand down her back and to the back of her thigh. He grabbed it and pulled her across him so that he could reposition them. She got the hint and moved her leg over him so that she could straddle him. It was her that had to pull away first to breathe, but Hayes quickly moved his kisses to her neck. She threw her head back to give him more access while she caught her breath. She placed her hands on his shoulders as he licked and sucked in all the right places. She couldn’t help the moan that escaped her mouth. The noise she made was infectious. He immediately felt a pool of heat rush to his stomach. He was the sole cause of those noises, and it was exactly what he wanted to hear from her.  
He knew if they didn’t stop soon, they would reach a point of no return, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to return. He pulled back a little just to be sure that Meredith was okay with what was happening. Meredith noticed his hesitation and immediately withdrew her hands from his shoulders. She looked into his eyes and couldn’t quite tell what he was thinking. “We can stop if you want to. If you’re not ready, then I’m not either” She said.

Hayes couldn’t believe how beautiful the woman in front of him was. Even in moments where it felt like there was inferno between them and she didn’t want to stop, she was putting his needs above her own, and was offering him the kind of support that he didn’t think he’d ever find in another woman. Meredith knew exactly what he was going through and that’s what made all of his hesitation go away. Abby gave him permission. He was just waiting for someone that made him feel safe and comfortable - and he felt those things with Meredith. 

“I’m ready.” Was all he said. Two simple words that broke the dam. He quickly turned her over so that he could be on top of her and crashed his lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him flush against her. His hands traveled down the sides of her body and underneath her shirt. He explored as much of her as he could. He was driving her insane. She could feel the best of his hands against her bare skin and she was responding in all types of ways. He was trying his best to maintain his composure. He knew it’d been close to four years since he’d done this, and he wanted to make sure he didn’t move too fast in fear that the experience might not be good for her. But that was becoming harder and harder to do as he felt and heard her responses to the things he was doing. 

Meredith moved her hands to the hem of his shirt and pulled up. He begrudgingly stopped kissing her so that he could pull it all the way off. As soon as his shirt hit the floor, he was back to kissing her. This time it was his turn to play with the hem of her shirt. Even though he knew they were both ready he was still hesitant to push too far, so Meredith took the step for him. She removed her shirt and let him stare at her for as long as he liked. He looked at her in awe, scanning her body with his gaze and taking in as much of her as possible. He went to lean back in, then paused. “We should probably move up to my bedroom” He said as he started getting up. She looked at him with a smirk, “yeah, we definitely should.” She said with a low voice, and Hayes’ breath hitched as he grabbed her hand and led her to his bedroom as fast as possible. The point of no return. As soon as they got through the door his arms were wrapped around her waist and he picked her up. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist as they kissed some more. He walked them to the bed and laid the both of them down as gently as he possibly could with the desire for her taking over his rational thinking. “It’s a damn good thing we have this house to ourselves.” Meredith whispered in his ear before she went back to kissing his jaw, neck, and collarbone. “Dear god, woman, are you trying to drive me bloody mad?” The heavy Irish accent that flowed through that sentence was just enough to set Meredith off. “That… is exactly what I’m trying to do.” She said, with pure lust in her eyes as she undressed herself even further, and ran his hand up her bare leg slowly, back to her waist, before diving back into kissing him, rolling herself on top of him. He let her have her way, if only for a few moments. 

It didn’t take long before the rest of his clothes and both of their undergarments were being tossed to the floor, and they were under the covers. They took things slow at first, taking the time to fully explore the other’s body, but not for long. All of their movements were calculated and meticulous. Meredith wanted to make sure he was comfortable the whole time, so she let him take the lead. And boy did he. If she didn’t know any better, she would’ve thought he was lying about not having had sex in close to four years. It was as if he knew her body like it was his own, and vice versa. All the little things that he never thought he’d feel again came flooding back to him as he made love to this woman who came into his life and put back all the missing puzzle pieces he didn’t realize were missing. The same went for Meredith - though she’d been with a couple other people since Derek died, this was unlike anything she’d experienced previously. That innate feeling of safety, trust, and care that she’d had with Derek had finally returned to her with Hayes, and it was magical for her to feel it again.

By the time they were done ravishing each other’s bodies, they were exhausted. He placed one last kiss on her lips then on her forehead before rolling over so that he could spoon her. After a few moments of silence, he lowly whispered “I’m glad you were my first.” To which Meredith responded by grabbing his hand and bringing it closer to her heart. “If you freak out tomorrow morning, it’s okay.” She said after a few minutes of silence, rolling over in his embrace. He furrowed his brows at her, confused. “My first time - the morning after, I freaked out. I woke up beside someone who wasn’t Derek. He hadn’t even done anything wrong, but I lost it. I deep cleaned the entire house, and worried Alex, Amelia, and Maggie right out of their minds. So, if you freak out tomorrow morning, it’s okay.” She stroked his cheek with her thumb and placed a small kiss on his lips. “Okay.” He said as he smiled at her slightly. She rolled back over, and he wrapped his arm tightly around her waist. Before falling asleep, all Hayes could think about was how lucky he’d gotten with Meredith. He never expected himself to be able to feel the way he was feeling again. Yet here he was, laying exposed and vulnerable, next to this woman who was exactly what he needed. She always put his thoughts and feelings before her own, and her capacity for compassion and understanding was just one of the many things he admired about her, but especially tonight. He couldn’t have imagined having those firsts with anyone else.

He closed his eyes, and his final thoughts were of what Abby had told him before she died. “It’s okay to fall in love again. You have my permission. You don’t need to beat yourself up or feel guilty. You deserve to be happy.” She’d told him. She wanted this for him - happiness. And Meredith made him feel the happiest he’d felt in a very long time. So, he took her advice. He wouldn’t feel guilty about it in the moment, or the morning after. Instead, he would choose to be content and happy, like Abby wanted for him. He knew he was okay because it was Meredith. He knew deep down that Abby loved her already and was cheering them on from Heaven. Finally, he fell asleep, holding his girlfriend close to him, hoping to himself that she’d be his last and only first.


	11. Telling the Kids

The next morning, Meredith woke up before Hayes. She was so concerned that he’d freak out. No matter what she did, she just could not stop thinking about how he’d react. Of course, she’d be okay with whatever reaction he did have, but she knew deep down that she’d be a bit of a mess if he did freak out. She’d probably have a freak-out of her own, worrying herself to death about him. She got up, quietly and carefully, put on her undergarments and pants, and slipped back into bed. It was honestly impressive, just how deeply he slept. He never stirred, even as she got back into bed and rolled back into his embrace. She laid facing towards him, her hand on his cheek, stroking his face while he slept. His arm wrapped around her like it was something he’d done every day of his life. 

About 15 minutes later, Hayes began to stir from his sleep. Meredith scooted herself over and backed off, just in case. To her surprise, he simply tightened his grip around her waist and pulled her closer to him. Though unexpected to her, she happily snuggled in close to him. She saw a small smile form on his face as she got closer to him, so she placed a small kiss on his lips and whispered, “Good morning.” His eyes fluttered open, and all Meredith could think about was just how blue his eyes were in the sunlight shining through his window. “Morning,” he said lowly, kissing her again and running his hand through her hair. His accent was much thicker right after waking up, and Meredith could get used to hearing it that way. “I’m glad you’re okay.” She said as he sat up in the bed, and she lay her head on his chest. He loosely ran his fingers through her hair and chuckled to himself. “The car accident was weeks ago, Grey.” He said, looking down at her with a smirk. He knew exactly what she was referring to, but he decided to poke a little fun. She smacked his arm, laughing along with him. “You know what I meant.” 

“Yeah, I do. Abby didn’t want me feeling guilty for moving on with someone who makes me happy. I’m okay because it’s you. You make me happy.” A genuine smile was permanently placed on his face, which was reassuring to Meredith. “You make me happy too.” She placed her hand behind his neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss. It didn’t take long for things to escalate between them again. His hands moved across the bare skin on her back, as he placed kisses along her collarbone and unclasped her bra, and his mouth traveled down to her chest. Her back arched into his touch and she could tell that he was enjoying every second of it. Even though they didn’t take it all the way like they’d done the previous night, but Meredith couldn’t complain about how her morning had started.

30 minutes later they’d both finally gotten out of bed and made their way into the kitchen. “What’s your breakfast of choice?” He asked her as he turned on his Keurig. “I generally don’t eat much of a breakfast. Usually just a granola bar or cereal if I have time.” Hayes nodded knowingly. It was sometimes hard for him to sit down and eat an actual hearty breakfast as well. “Well, take a look in the pantry and take your pick. Austin and Liam eat practically everything in sight 24/7, so I’ve always got to keep it stocked.” 

As they sat on the couch and ate, they chatted about their upcoming schedules and tried to figure out if they’d have a day where they could work together in the near future. Luckily for them, they had a couple of similar shifts less than a week from that Saturday they had to look forward to. If all went in their favour, they could probably find a case or two to work together on. “Is there anything you want to do today?” Hayes asked as Meredith finished up her cereal and placed the bowl in the dishwasher. “I want to tell my kids about us today.” She said confidently, turning back around with a half-smile. “I had to visibly sneak out of my house yesterday and make up some excuse to them so I could get here, and I don’t want to have to do that anymore. I’d much rather be able to truthfully tell them where I’m going, when I come over to see you.” Meredith explained further as she curled back up on the couch beside her boyfriend. 

“I think we could do that. But I do want to take you out somewhere first.” Hayes said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. “I wouldn’t mind going on a small walk through the trail in the park a couple of blocks down from here.” She responded. She enjoyed walking through short trails and getting a little bit of exercise in while taking in the nature around her. She enjoyed it even more when Hayes was there with her. Meredith took Hayes’ hand which was draped over her shoulder and laced their fingers together. “Maybe we can stay here for a few more minutes though.” She said sweetly, nestling her head into his chest. Hayes smiled to himself, enjoying the peace and tranquility surrounding the two of them. It wasn’t too often that they got moments like this, where conversation had moved to a comforting silence, and all that was needed was the comfort and touch of the other person as they held the other in their arms. 

Their walk had been incredibly short and sweet, just what they’d needed before heading over to Meredith’s house and telling her children that they were together. “What time do your boys get home tomorrow?” Meredith asked as she pulled into her driveway. “I think around… 3pm? What time does your shift end tomorrow?” He told her, understanding why she’d asked. They wanted to be together when they told their kids. “I can be over at your place for around 5pm. Does that work?” She said, grabbing his hand. “That works perfectly. You ready?” He squeezed her hand. “Definitely.” She said, letting go and opening her car door. He did as well, and they both made their way into the house. 

“Hey guys!” Meredith said to her children as their eyes lit up and they all ran to her when she walked in the door. “You remember Dr. Hayes, right?” The children nodded excitedly, especially Ellis. “What’s he doing here?” Zola asked, looking up at him curiously. “Why don’t you guys go sit down in the living room, and we can chat, okay?” Meredith said with a smile, as Hayes hung up his coat and entered the living room with the children, making small conversation. They all asked questions about his accent, which he was happy to answer because he loved talking about Ireland. Meredith came downstairs after putting her stuff away in her room, and smiled at the sight of Hayes interacting with her 3 kids, all of them smiling and getting along. 

“Dr. Hayes is really funny mom.” Zola said as she looked up at her mother. Meredith laughed and sat down in the living room. “I agree.” Meredith said, hoisting Ellis onto her lap. “Is he your boyfriend?” Ellis asked innocently, looking between Meredith and Hayes with excitement. Meredith and Hayes’ head immediately whipped towards each other; both of their faces filled with shock. They were both laughing, and Meredith hugged her youngest daughter. “Yeah, Ellie. He is. That was actually what we were going to talk to you guys about.” They looked rapidly between all 3 children, trying to figure out which way each of them would react. Ellis was the first, with a big bright smile forming on her little face. “Yay!” She squealed, wrapping her arms around her mother’s neck. Slowly but surely, smiles formed on Bailey and Zola’s faces as well. “We like him already mama.” Bailey said, holding out his first for Hayes to fist bump, which he quickly sent back with a smile on his face. “I like seeing you happy mom.” Zola said as she smiled between the two adults. “I definitely am happy, Zozo. And we’re very glad that you guys are happy as well.” 

The rest of the afternoon was spent with the kids asking Hayes practically every question under the sun, and half of them were about Austin and Liam, who’s existences the young children were intensely excited about. Hayes was happy to answer all of their questions, and Zola appreciated that he asked questions about their dad as well. He’d made sure to tell them right after he told them about Austin and Liam, explaining to them that they’d lost their mom, so they understood what it was like to lose a parent, and that he could never think about trying to replace their dad. He simply told them that he would enjoy being involved in their lives in whatever capacity they decided they wanted. This made Zola and Bailey love him even more. After Hayes had left, they inundated their mom with even more questions throughout dinner and helped Amelia and Maggie tease Meredith throughout the night. 

The next day after a surprisingly easy shift, Meredith made her way over to Hayes’ house. She’d dressed up to an appropriate level, wanting to make a good enough first impression on the teenagers. She knew they might have a totally opposite reaction than the ones her kids had had, and she knew she would probably be staying for dinner that night. She knocked on the door to his townhouse, and he opened the door, greeting her with a smile and a quick kiss. “Don’t worry, the boys are upstairs playing video games. As usual.” Meredith laughed at that and pulled him in for a deeper kiss. After they’d pulled away and headed inside, Hayes called for his boys from the bottom of the stairs. “Lads, when you’ve finished your round of whatever game it is that you’re playing, I need you two to come downstairs. We’ve got company, and I need to talk to you boys about something.” Followed by okays from both of the boys. Hayes let out a shaky breath as he turned back towards Meredith. 5 minutes later, Austin and Liam emerged from their game room and made their way down the stairs. 

“Oh, hi Dr. Grey.” Liam said as he saw Meredith sitting on their couch. “Hey Liam, Hi Austin.” She said with a smile. Austin gave her a small smile and waved at her. So far, so good. “What’d you need to talk to us about dad?” Austin asked as he sat in the recliner, and Liam sat on the one of the dining room chairs. Hayes calmly walked over and sat himself down beside Mer on the couch. “Uh, I don’t know exactly how to break this lightly, but I wanted you boys to know that you’re going to be seeing Dr. Grey over here more often. Because we’re dating. Officially, and we have been for about a month now.” He went silent and took a deep breath in, grabbing Meredith’s hand for some comfort. “Wait, what?” Austin said quickly, sitting up straight in the chair. Hayes’ heart just about sunk into his chest, fearing the absolute worst. “Ha ha, loser.” Liam piped up, pointing at his brother. “You owe me $50 now.” Liam grinned maniacally. “Oh, come on!” Austin responded, picking up the pillow closest to him and whipping it across the living room. Liam dodged masterfully and continued grinning. “Wait, boys, I’m confused. Care to explain yourselves?” Hayes asked, thoroughly confused.

“We could tell you’ve been crushing on Dr. Grey since you introduced us to her at the hospital 6 months ago. We’ve had a running bet on when you were going to ask her out for so long now. I guessed it’d take about as long as it did.” Liam explained. Meredith laughed quietly at the interaction unfolding in front of her. “So, you guys aren’t upset? At all?” Hayes asked, relief flooding him as the boys shook their heads no. “We haven’t seen you smile this much since mom died. She wanted you to be happy, dad. So do we. But now I’m out 50 bucks, so thanks.” Austin said with a sly grin. Hayes grinned at his boys and over at Meredith, who was almost close to tears. She hadn’t expected this reaction from them at all. “I lost my husband about 6 years ago. My kids lost their dad, same as how you guys lost your mom. So every decision we make is done with all 5 of you kids in mind. I know my 3 kids miss their dad, but I also know that you guys were much older when you lost your mom. Your dad has told me so many stories about her, and I’m sure you guys have plenty as well. But I felt that was information you boys should know, because I want you guys to know that I understand not to deliberately infringe on any boundaries you boys want to set, and that any decision we make we want you guys to be involved in.” Meredith said, and Hayes watched her lovingly as she explained her story to his boys. 

“Thank you, Dr.-“ Liam caught himself and looked to Meredith. This was his dad’s new girlfriend - he didn’t want to call her what his dad called her at work. “Meredith. Or Dr. Grey, whatever you guys are comfortable with.” She said with a smile. “Meredith. It means a lot. Dad, can we go back to our game now?” Liam said, looking to his dad. He was met with a chuckle, and a go ahead. Both boys got up and headed upstairs. “Dinner is in 40!” Hayes called up and a thumb poked up from around the corner of the wall and then disappeared again. Meredith looked at her boyfriend with a smile and a laugh, collapsing into his shoulder. He rested his head on hers, running his thumb over the back of her hand. “That went much better than expected.” Hayes admitted. “They’re good kids.” Mer told him. “As much as they test me somedays, yeah, they are. They’re the best.” He said with a smile as he thought about how glad he was that his kids looked like Abby. She was always with him through them. “You look beautiful.” Hayes said after a few moments of silence, kissing the back of her hand. Meredith picked her head up off his shoulder, wrapping her free hand around his neck and pulling him in deeply for a kiss. She stroked his cheek with her thumb as they pulled away and stared deeply into each other’s eyes. “I’m glad we decided to tell the kids. And I’m glad they all took it so well.” She said, resting her forehead on his. “Me too.” He said simply, kissing her forehead and pulling her in close for a hug.


	12. The Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update bc I got some inspo to write and wanted to post a couple of chapters before the new year.

It’d been about 2 months since Hayes and Meredith had revealed to their kids that they were dating, and for the most part, things had been going incredibly well. All of their kids immediately hit it off the first time they met. Ellis had become obsessed with both Hayes and Liam specifically, and though it was a drastic change of pace, the older boys could not deny that they really enjoyed having the younger children around. Meredith cried tears of joy when she got home with the kids after the first time they’d all met. There was something about how the kids got along that just set her right over the edge. She’d been so worried that it wouldn’t go over well, and though she’d held it in over at Hayes’ place, she was overwhelmed seeing just how good Austin and Liam were with the kids. Everything had felt so perfect, and for the first time since meeting Derek all those years back, like things were truly meant to be.

What Meredith wasn’t prepared for though was the amount of times she’d find herself or Hayes pulling each other into on-call rooms whenever they found the time during the day. They’d been lucky, in that they’d been yet to be walked in on by Webber or Bailey. Ever since their first night together, they’d find whatever time they could to have sex in the on-call rooms, make out in supply closets, and sext when they couldn’t be together. It was something that Maggie and Amelia had teased Meredith mercilessly about ever since they’d caught her doing it in the attending’s lounge on Hayes’ days off. It was all in good fun though, and they made sure to also consistently tell her how happy they were to see her so undeniably happy all the time. 

One morning, Meredith had gotten out the door in the morning incredibly rushed, as the kids had woken up late and were almost late for school. She got Ellis into her clothes, helped the kids as they brushed their teeth, and hurried them out the door. She completely forgot to grab her coffee and breakfast, which she wouldn’t realize til’ much later in the day. She dropped all three kids off at school in the nick of time, and then made her way over to the hospital. She walked into the attendings lounge around 9am, and Hayes was in there, sitting lazily on the couch alone. Meredith put her bags down and sat down beside him, resting her hand on his thigh. He looked up at her and smiled, raising his eyebrow. “Morning,” he said, placing his phone down and leaning over to kiss his girlfriend. “Mm, morning.” She said, kissing him again, much deeper this time. His hands tightened around her back and pulled her closer, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Somehow, he’d gotten her laying down on the couch in the midst of it all, and he placed trails of kisses along her neck and collarbone. Amelia walked in just as Hayes had begun unbuttoning her shirt, and their heads turned at the sound. 

“You guys know it’s like… 9 in the morning, right? And there are on call rooms for that.” She said, staring blankly. Meredith knew Amelia would probably never let her live this one down. Meredith groaned as Hayes pushed himself off her, sitting up straight. “Apologies, Amelia.” He said, and Meredith sat up, fixing her shirt before anyone else could walk in. Amelia chuckled at the embarrassment plastered on both her sister and Hayes’ faces. “Don’t be sorry, I get it. Just maybe lock the door next time? Imagine I’d been Bailey, or even worse, Jackson or Webber.” She said as she smirked, heading into the bathroom to get changed into her scrubs. Hayes looked over at Meredith, a smile forming on his face as he laughed about the situation. Though she would never admit it or show it on her face, Meredith was upset at the fact that they were interrupted. But she laughed along with Hayes, because it was a funny situation, no matter how much she wanted it to keep going. 

The rest of Meredith’s day had gone strangely normal. There were no major traumas that required her assist, so she did a few elective procedures before heading to her office to finish up some paperwork. Bailey had come by later in the day, and the two chatted while Meredith caught up on all her department head crap that she’d fallen behind on. Hayes had been pulled into a massive surgery on a peds trauma that’d come in a few hours prior, so Meredith couldn’t pull him into an on-call room and finish what they’d started in the morning. But Meredith was glad for Bailey’s company.

As she stood up to head out for the day, a wave of dizziness rushed to her head, and nausea to her stomach. “Grey, you okay?” Bailey said. “You look like you’re going to throw up.” She began to grow slightly concerned. “I feel like I could throw up. I don’t know if I’ve eaten anything today, I’m sure I just need to eat something.” Bailey reached into her pocket, remembering she had a granola bar. Meredith took the granola bar gratefully and ate it in seconds. Of course, it was seconds later that she found herself leaning over the trashcan beside her desk, throwing it all back up. She rolled her eyes as she stood back up, looking to Bailey. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Bailey said, her concern growing by the second. She’d remembered feeling all the symptoms Meredith was showing, when she had her heart attack. That worry came to an all-time high when Meredith suddenly collapsed to the floor. 

Bailey yelled for a gurney and for someone to page Maggie and Amelia. She rushed to Meredith’s side, checking for a pulse. It was still there, but it was extremely rapid. They got her rushed to an exam room, and Maggie hooked her up to an EKG, while Amelia checked Meredith’s pupils and tried to wake her. A nurse had come in and drawn blood, making sure to get rushed results. Maggie and Amelia both had a moment of realization and looked to each other. “Where’s Hayes?” Maggie said, knowing Hayes would be a mess when he found out. Meredith’s eyes fluttered open as Maggie said that and responded to Maggie’s question. “OR 3. Where am I?” She said, looking around the room, her vision still distorted. She closed her eyes again. Maggie and Amelia nodded at each other, and Amelia made her way out of the trauma room and over to OR 3 to see if Hayes was okay to leave the surgery. 

“Amelia, what’s going on?” Richard said as she entered the OR in a hurry. “Dr. Webber, do you have this under control?” She asked as calm as possible. “I mean, yes. But why?” He asked again. Hayes looked at Amelia, and the calm demeanor she exhibited threw him off. Should he be worried, or no? “Hayes, I need you to come with me.” Okay, now he was growing worried. “Why? Dr. Shepherd, what’s going on?” He asked, trying his hardest to keep his composure over the patient. “I… uh.” She didn’t want to have to announce this in front of the OR staff, but she knew Hayes wouldn’t go anywhere unless he had a solid reason to leave. “It’s Mer. She collapsed, she’s in trauma room 4 right now with Maggie.” Hayes froze in his spot, his heart sunk to the bottom of his chest. Every worst case scenario and fear was running through his head. He looked to Webber, who nodded, letting him know he could go. He ripped his OR gown, gloves, and boots off as fast as he could, and he sprinted as fast as he could to his girlfriend’s side.

“What is it?” Hayes said as he bust the door open to the trauma room, Amelia following closely behind him. “Definitively not a heart attack. We’re just waiting on the lab results. Should be ready any time now.” Maggie said. Meredith’s eyes opened again to the sound of Hayes’ voice. He let out a sigh of relief as her eyes opened and he rushed to her side. “Are you okay?” He asked, grabbing her hand and stroking her hair. “I think so. I just need to get food into me and actually keep it down.” She said, a small smile forming on her face. “We gave you anti-nausea meds after we took your blood. If you want, we could try getting you something to eat.” Maggie said softly to Meredith. “That’d be great.” She smiled at Maggie. She then looked over back at Hayes, who was still coming down from his panic. 

30 minutes later, Bailey came back into the trauma room. “Lab results are ready.” She said, shaking her head. Hayes could feel the panic in him starting to build again. “Oh, what is it? Infection? Malnourishment? Is it my liver?” Meredith said worriedly. “No, Grey, no infection, no signs of malnourishment, or liver disease.” Everyone in the room breathed a sigh of relief. “Then what is it? Did the lab results show anything?” She pushed further. There was something Bailey wasn’t telling her. “Everything was normal, except-“ “Except?!” Everyone yelled, interrupting her. “Would you all shut up, it’s nothing bad!”

“All of your levels are normal, except your hCG levels. Meredith, you’re 8 weeks pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... uh... yeah.  
> Surprise! Figured I should throw a plot twist in there. :)  
> Don't hate me please lol


	13. Just A Dream

“Meredith… Meredith!” She could hear her name being called from every different direction. Her eyes were open, but her vision had gone completely dizzy. She was staring blankly at the wall, as her sisters snapped at her and called her name, trying to bring her back to reality. Pregnant. Was that the actual word she heard come from Bailey’s mouth? It couldn’t be. Everything seemed like a blur. Her head was spinning. Pregnant. 8 weeks. A baby. “I’m gonna be sick.” She managed to say before everything went dark. She felt her hair being pulled back and a pan be quickly shoved under her face, while a reassuring hand stroked her back. “I’m right here, it’s okay Mer. I’ve got you.” She could hear Hayes say faintly. Oh, god - _Hayes_.

-

About a million different thoughts ran through Hayes’ head when Bailey revealed that Meredith was pregnant. He thought of his sons, her kids, Abby, and Derek. He thought about how prepared yet completely unprepared he would be to be a father again. Did he even want to be a father again? But his main concern was of Meredith. He saw the life drain out of her eyes when Bailey said she was 8 weeks pregnant. Her hand had instinctively grabbed his, squeezing it. He could have his worries later, he needed to focus on his girlfriend. She was awake, but she wasn’t alert. Maggie, Amelia, and Bailey all called at her, unsuccessful in their attempts to get her attention. He didn’t. He knew she was processing this news, and it would only mean bad things if he tried to pull her attention away from it. She would come back to reality when she wanted to. He held her hand in his own, his thumb stroking the back of it. “I’m gonna throw up.” She said. His panic began to rise but he kept it cool. Maggie and Amelia jumped into action, Maggie pulling back her hair and Amelia grabbing the closest bedpan and shoved it under her face. Hayes stroked her back, reassuring her. This wasn’t pregnancy-related sickness. This was due to overwhelming stress. He rubbed her back and whispered in her ear, “I’m right here, it’s okay Mer. I’ve got you.”

-

Throwing up was what brought Meredith back to reality. She laid back down on the hospital bed and looked around the room. “Mer! Mer- look at me.” She looked at Maggie quickly, then to Amelia, then Bailey, and finally her gaze shifted to Hayes. He was trying his best to keep calm, but Meredith could see the panic radiating from his face. She knew they were both having the same thoughts – how did this happen? Is this something we should be happy about? Do we even want to have a child together? What will our kids think? Their minds were racing, yet simultaneously completely focused on the other. Pregnant. A baby. _Their_ baby. The words kept playing in Meredith’s head like a record on repeat. _Their baby_. Something she never thought would be a possibility again. She thought this kind of conception was once-in-a-lifetime. Then there was a hand on her face, followed by, “Meredith?” Amelia’s voice pulled her back from her own thoughts once again. “Are you okay?” She hadn’t even realized she’d been crying. “Oh, uh. I don’t know.” Meredith responded quietly and blankly. “Do you guys want to be alone?” Maggie asked, placing a hand on Meredith’s shoulder and motioning her head towards Hayes. They looked at each other, and Meredith turned back to Maggie and nodded ever so slightly. Maggie looked up at Amelia and Bailey quickly. “Come on, let’s give them some space to talk.” And then it was just the two of them.

-

There was complete and utter silence in the trauma room for the first 2 minutes after everyone else had left. Their fingers were still laced together, and Hayes was still stroking the back of her hand with his thumb – but neither of them said a word. They both stared into the distance. Meredith hadn’t slipped back into a tunnel mind; she was simply just mindlessly staring. Hayes was the one that was verging on tunneling. After some more thinking, Meredith was the one to break the silence. She hummed out a little laugh as she thought about the absolute absurdity of the situation. Hayes’ eyes shot to Meredith when he heard her, worried that she was crying. Instead, he saw a maniacal smile plastered across her face and a laugh waiting to erupt. As serious as the situation at hand was, her smile never failed to make him smile as well. Her eyes caught his, and she saw the smile on his face. She began laughing uncontrollably, rolling on to her side. He laughed along with her. “Oh, I’m sorry. This really isn’t funny.” Meredith said through laughter. “No, it isn’t. But it also really is. We ended up conceiving _a child_ sometime during our first time together. I mean really, how stupidly absurd is that?” He responded, laughing again. Her laughter followed suit.

Finally, after the laughter died down, the couple looked at each other and sighed. “This isn’t a joke, is it?” Meredith said, reaching out her hand. Hayes took it in his own. “No, it’s not.” He kissed the back of her hand. “How are you feeling about all this?” She asked, squeezing his hand. “I should be asking you that.” He said to her as he sat on the edge of the bed. Always putting her before himself, she should’ve expected this. “I… I don’t know. I’m feeling so conflicted. I didn’t want more children after Derek died. I still don’t know if I even want another baby. I can’t stop remembering how traumatic my births were with Ellis and Bailey. And I can’t stop thinking about all five of the kids, how much this impacts them as well. I can’t stop thinking about the fact that we’ve only been together for 3 months now – I mean, is it too soon? Could this break us apart?” Meredith began to tear up as she thought about the possibility that this baby could ruin their relationship. Hayes wiped away her tears as they stared into each other’s eyes.

“I didn’t even think this was possible again. And that’s why I’m so conflicted – because I feel like I should be at least somewhat excited, it’s a miracle that I got pregnant in the first place, and it’s even more of a miracle that I haven’t miscarried. But do I even want to keep it? I should be a least a little bit excited, but I’m not. Not one part of me feels excited. Like I said, it’s so soon, and we have 5 other kids to think about, and how on earth could we explain this to everyone, and are we even at a place in our lives where another baby could fit into the equation? And then on the other hand, what if we decide we don’t want another kid right now, but regret the decision down the line? What if this is the most beautiful thing to come into our lives? What if this is what heals us? What if it’s something we never thought we wanted, but actually needed? Almost every fiber in me is telling me to get an abortion, but there’s that little voice in my head that asks me all of those ‘what ifs’. And I don’t know what voice to listen to.” Her voiced cracked as she finished talking and she could feel the tears coming. Hayes engulfed her in a hug, smoothing her hair and rubbing her back as she cried. There was no use in her trying to keep the tears contained – she was upset, grieving, hormonal, and her boyfriend was hugging her in an empty trauma room, where nobody could see them. She was safe in there with him.

“It’s okay, let it all out.” He said, rubbing her back in circular motions. “I’ve got you.” He continued to reassure her. She pulled away from their hug and looked Hayes in the eyes. “You’re allowed to have feelings about all of this too. This affects more than just me.” She told him, placing her hand on his cheek. “I think, that I don’t know what to think. All my thoughts feel jumbled, and foggy. But I can tell you what I know. I know that you’re an amazing mother, and I like to think that I’m a good dad.” Meredith laughed. “You are, you’re an incredible dad.” She said as she continued to stroke his cheek. “I know that this is complicated, and messy. I know that our relationship is new, but I also know that it’s one of the most beautiful parts of my life. I know that I don’t want you to be hurting – and I don’t want you to be put at risk, at all. I know that I’m allowed to have feelings, but that the decision is entirely up to you. It is your body. You are the only one who gets to make that decision. I know that no matter what, I will support you to the ends of the earth, because I know that if you’re happy, then I’m happy. I know that we are feeling a lot of the same things – and thinking about all the same people. I couldn’t stop thinking about the kids when you spaced out, and how they’d react. I know we have to tell them and include them in the conversation. I know that we will figure things out, and that I’m not going anywhere, no matter what. I won’t let this break us apart. I promise that.” His forehead rested against hers as he finished. “Do you want to head home now? I can drive you and get us something to eat on the way home.” He asked as he pulled his forehead away from hers and smoothed out her hair. “Yeah, I do.” Slowly she stood up, and just before they left, she kissed him. “Thank you for always knowing just what to say. We can talk about this more a little bit later.” She said, grabbing his hand and exiting the trauma room.

-

It felt like every eye was on Meredith and Hayes as they left the hospital. They knew it was probably because everyone had heard about how she’d collapsed, and not the reason why, but Meredith still couldn’t help but feel like everyone was judging Hayes for getting her pregnant and judging her for getting pregnant again. She could still hardly wrap her head around that word. _Pregnant_. A word she never thought or wanted to apply to herself ever again, and yet here she was. Hayes held her hand the entire way back to her house, and Meredith simply stared out the window. There was complete silence in the car. She wasn’t upset with him, and he knew that. She was bitter with the world for putting her in an impossible situation - for forcing her relationship into unprecedented territories so quickly. They’d been together for 3 months, they hadn’t even said ‘I love you’ yet, and now they had to decide whether or not they wanted to tie themselves to each other for the rest of their lives and have a child together. She resented that they had to make that choice. She resented it so deeply.

As they pulled into the driveway, Meredith could feel herself begin to tear up again. Hayes heard the slight sniffle from the passenger seat and looked over to see a tear roll down her cheek. He jumped out of the car and quickly made his way to the passenger side to open her door. “Hey, hey, come here.” He said, opening his arms for her. She quickly fell into the hug, silently sobbing. “I hate this. I hate it so much.” She said through her sobs. He knew what she meant. “I know, I know. It’s okay.” He pushed her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. “I’ve got you, it’s okay.” He continued to reassure her. He pulled away from their hug first and laced his fingers with hers. “Okay, come on. Let’s go inside and lay down for a little while.” He said as he grabbed their stuff out of the car. “I’ll be fine, you go home.” Meredith insisted, but Hayes wasn’t having any of it. “I’m not leaving you alone right now, not with everything that you’re going through. So, I’ll lay with you, take care of the kids, whatever you need until Amelia or Maggie gets back, and then if you’re feeling okay enough, I’ll go home then.” Meredith knew there was no getting out of this one. Hayes knew her well enough that he’d let her lay by herself if she really needed it, and that Link would probably appreciate the help with the kids. “Okay, let’s go.” She waited for him to grab the bags from the car and they walked into the house together.

All 3 of the kids ran over to Meredith the moment the door opened. She hugged each of them tightly, trying her best to not cry. “Are you okay, momma?” Ellis asked as she looked at Meredith’s tear stained eyes. _Try not to cry, try not to cry, try not to cry_. “Uh, your mom had a tough day at work today, she just needs to lay down for a little while, okay?” Hayes said with his hand on her back. Ellis nodded sweetly and the children went back to playing. “I might be down in a little bit Link.” Hayes said as they began walking upstairs. “Alright, sounds good.” Link called down. Luckily all the kids were fairly easy that day, so Link didn’t mind staying with them for a little while longer. Upstairs, Meredith was trying her hardest to not become a wreck again. _Damn pregnancy hormones_. The moment Hayes laid on his side beside her, he wrapped around his arm around her shoulder and held her tightly against him. He could feel a couple of tears fall onto his arm, then finally her breathing stopped being shaky and her body was calm. She’d fallen asleep. Hayes tried to rest his eyes for a moment as well, but since he didn’t have to worry about Meredith, his own worries and fears came barreling into his mind at all force. Every doubt, every worry, all the grief, uncertainty, and heartache made its way to the front of his conscience. So, he laid there. He let himself have his worries, and his grief. He worked through every little thought he was having, unpacking all of it, as he lay silently, holding his sleeping girlfriend until he had to get up to go help out downstairs.

-

Meredith woke up an hour later, and headed downstairs. She gave Link a quick hug and thanked him for watching the kids. “Oh, it was no problem, they were really great today.” Link told her. Hayes came into the kitchen where Meredith and Link stood and gave Mer a quick kiss. “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened at work today? You seemed pretty distraught when you got home.” Link asked as he sat down at the table. “Oh, uh, we’ll tell you a bit later, after the kids are in bed.” Meredith stuttered. Link nodded at her knowingly and shifted the conversation to something lighter, which both Meredith and Hayes appreciated. 30 minutes after the kids had been put to bed, both Maggie and Amelia arrived home. “Sorry, we meant to be home earlier, but we both got pulled away on consults.” Maggie said as she opened the door. “How are you feeling Mer? Did you end up getting something to eat and getting some sleep? Any nausea?” Amelia asked as she took off her jacket and walked into the living room. “We got food on the way home, but I am getting hungry again. I took a nap when we got home. And no, no nausea right now.” She said, cuddled under a blanket next to Hayes on the couch. Link’s eyes widened at the conversation swirling around him. “Wait, so, what happened?” He asked, after greeting Amelia with a quick kiss. Amelia and Maggie’s eyes shot to each other, and Meredith closed her eyes and exhaled. “I collapsed at work today, and when they ran labs to try and figure out why, the labs revealed that I’m 8 weeks pregnant. And I collapsed because I hadn’t eaten all day.” She explained, pressing her tongue to the roof of her mouth, pleading with her hormones to give her a break from crying. Link’s jaw dropped. “I see why you didn’t want to say when the kids were up. I mean, how are you feeling about it? You look pretty upset, and angry.” He asked. Amelia came and sat down beside Link, while Maggie sat on the other side of Meredith. “Is there an option for all of the above?” Hayes said sincerely as he looked at Link.

“I should clarify that I’m not mad at myself or at Hayes, whatsoever. Do you hear me?” Meredith said, placing her hand on his shoulder. “I’m not mad at you. You didn’t intentionally do this; this was a complete accident. I’m just upset and mad at the universe for handing us a seemingly impossible situation.” Meredith needed to make sure Hayes understood fully that he was not the one she was upset with, even if it was just for her own peace of mind. He nodded back at her and placed his hand on her knee under the blanket. “I know.” He said quietly. “It’s getting late, you should get back home to Austin and Liam.” Meredith said sweetly. “Are you sure? Becau-“ Meredith cut him off. “I’m sure. I’ve got Link, Amelia, and Maggie here. I’ll be okay.” She placed a kiss on his cheek. “Alright, if you say so. But you call me if you need anything, I mean it okay?” Meredith forced a small smile out and nodded. He kissed her on the lips, and just as he was about to head down the porch, Amelia followed him outside. “Hey,” She said, grabbing his attention. “Hey, Amelia, what’s up?” He asked curiously. “You’re worried about her, aren’t you?” She asked him, sitting down on the front bench. “Of course, I’m worried about a lot of things. But yeah, mainly her. I worry about leaving her tonight. She’s acting okay but a lot of me thinks that it’s just a façade, and I don’t want her to spend the whole night crying. If I had the choice, I’d stay the night with her.” Amelia nodded knowingly. “I’m worried about her too. The last time she was pregnant, she ran away to San Diego until after Ellis was born.” Amelia explained. “She did that a-“ Amelia nodded. “After Derek died, yeah.” And there it was, the full picture. Hayes nodded at Amelia with a look of acknowledgement. “I do need to get back home to the boys, but call me if she needs me, please. I have a feeling she’ll try to work through this alone, especially tonight, and I don’t want her doing that unless it’s what she absolutely needs.” “Sounds good - thanks Hayes. You know, she’s lucky to have you.” Amelia said with a small smile, which made him smile as well. “I’ll see you later.” “Bye.”

-

Meredith didn’t realize how hard the night would be without Hayes. She told him to go home, and she began to regret it. She tried to keep her cries as silent as possible, so she wouldn’t wake up her children, or alert her sisters or Link to any issues. They could tell something was up though, they heard the occasional sniffle from her room. They tried to keep Hayes updated and his worry only grew throughout the night, but Amelia assured him that they had it handled. That worry all came to a boiling point when Amelia called him the next evening while he was finishing up at work and told him that Meredith hadn’t gotten out of bed more than once or twice throughout the day, that she was refusing to eat anything more than a few bites of food, and that she wasn’t responding to them at all when they tried to talk to her. _Shit_.


	14. A Rough Go

It’s not that Meredith didn’t want to get out of bed. Well, that’s not entirely true. She did, and she didn’t. But she could not physically find the mental and physical strength to take care of herself and get herself ready for the day, so she simply didn’t. She didn’t know how to explain this to her sisters, but they already knew what was going on. After Maggie had lost Sabi, she too had done exactly what Meredith was doing. Meredith was depressed. The only difference between Maggie and Meredith though, was that they didn’t know how to help Mer. She seemed to be sleeping most of the day away, and she was refusing to eat or talk to anyone. Then, of course, there was the unborn child that was involved - the situation was getting dire, both mom and baby needed nourishment. After carefully weighing the pros and cons of barging into Meredith’s room and forcing her to eat something, they decided to just go for it. Meredith needed to eat, if not for herself but for the baby. “Alright, Mer. We’re coming in.” Maggie said as they picked the lock on Meredith’s door. “Please, no.” They could hear her call out from behind it. “Mer, you don’t get to say no. We’re worried about you. You need to eat - badly.” Meredith closed her eyes and mustered up all the willpower she had to keep it together as she heard the creak of the door. 

“Mer, would you please talk to us?” Maggie said gently as she sat down on the edge of the bed. Meredith thought long and hard about whether or not she wanted to talk to anyone about her feelings. Slowly, she raised her face out from under the covers and sat up. Maggie and Amelia were heartbroken at the sight of their sister’s tired, puffy, bright red eyes. “Oh, Meredith…” Maggie said, trying not to start crying herself. “Don’t call Hayes please, I don’t want to bother him.” She said weakly. She closed her eyes and tried to ignore the food that was sitting in front of her. “He’s been worried sick about you since he left yesterday evening and all throughout the day, he texts me every hour asking how you are. I’d tried to keep things as positive as possible because I know that’s what you wanted, but Mer. You need to eat. And I need to see you smile again.” Amelia said as gently as possible. “So, with that being said, he’s on his way over right now.” Amelia revealed. Meredith groaned and let her head hit the pillow again, closing her eyes. She didn’t know if she could face Hayes, with her puffy, tear stained eyes, and the heartbreak on his face that she knew was bound to come when he saw her. 

Sure enough, that’s exactly what she got. Hayes had bolted from his office when Amelia called him, worried sick about both Meredith and the baby. He made his way through traffic and just about busted the door down when he got to her house. He looked to the living room in a panic, asking Link, “Where is she?”. “She’s up in her room with Maggie and Amelia.” He responded. Hayes only barely nodded before running upstairs. He knocked on her bedroom door and was met with Maggie saying, “Who is it?”. Hayes was trying his damndest to not break from all the worry. “It’s me - Mer, can I come in please?” His voice cracked at the end. In the room, Meredith heard Hayes’ voice once and was reduced to a puddle of tears, not realizing how much she needed to hear his voice. “Come in.” Amelia said, sitting at the foot of Meredith’s bed. He opened the door, only to be met with the painstakingly heartbroken faces of Amelia and Maggie, and Meredith who was sobbing even more uncontrollably now that he was standing in front of her. “You’re here.” She said through her tears, and Hayes’ heart shattered into a million pieces. “Yeah, I’m here.” He said as he rushed over to her and engulfed her in a hug, stroking her back. He could feel himself crying as well, for multiple different reasons. He felt awful for leaving her the night before, his heart was broken at seeing her so broken and sobbing so uncontrollably, and he was upset that he didn’t know why or what had happened to put her in this state. Maggie and Amelia had quietly left the room in the midst of the hug in order to give them some privacy. They hated having to leave her and not be able to physically help, but they knew it was what was best for the both of them. 

“Can you please tell me what happened?” Hayes asked Meredith as he lightly ran his fingers through her hair. After quite some period of time he’d gotten up to lay on the bed beside her. She had immediately shifted to curl herself right up next to him, laying her head on his chest. Her eyes closed at the question, for the most part she didn’t know what had happened. “I was okay, with Maggie, Amelia, and Link, for the first few hours after you left. I was. And then we all went to bed, and I couldn’t sleep. My mind was just racing, and there was no one around to stop it. I couldn’t stop thinking about my 3 perfect children sleeping in the rooms down the hall. I couldn’t stop thinking about your boys either. I don’t know if I want to do this to them. And I couldn’t stop thinking about you, how you deserve better than to be wrapped up in the complete and utter cosmic joke the universe makes of my life. I mean, we haven’t even said ‘I love you’ yet, and now we’re here having to try and navigate whether or not we want to have a baby together? You deserve better than that, than me. And then I fell asleep, and I haven’t been able to find it in me to get up or eat. I don’t know why. I should be fine, I’m always fine.” And with that, she turned over, unable to face him. She knew that she still hadn’t eaten yet, but truthfully, no part of her wanted to. 

“I’m no psychiatrist, but Mer, it sounds like you’re depressed.” He finally said after a few minutes of absorbing what she’d said. “And if you don’t want this baby, then you are under no obligation to have it. I can make the appointment for you tomorrow if that’s what you want, and if you do want the baby, I can get us an appointment set up with Carina.” He reached under the covers and grabbed her hand, stroking it with his thumb lightly. “Just say what you want, and I will find a way to make it happen.” He concluded. She turned back over, still hesitant to make eye contact. “I still don’t know if I want the baby or not. But could you stay the night? It helps, having you here.” She admitted. For the first time since he’d left, her thoughts didn’t consist of ‘ _whatever’,_ or ‘ _none of this really matters anyways’_. She hadn’t had those thoughts since before her drowning, and they terrified her. “Yeah, I can do that. Now, can you sit up and eat something? Is there anything you’re craving? Your sisters seem to have brought up soup.” He said, looking at the tray of food on top of the dresser. “Fine, and the soup is fine. But it’s definitely cold.” She sighed and rolled over, throwing the covers off of her. “Where are you going?” He asked, confused and slightly concerned. “Downstairs, to heat this up and eat it. You coming? You know, you should probably eat something too.” Hayes breathed a sigh of relief and followed her downstairs. 

Every head turned as they heard the noise at the stairs, and Maggie damn near cried when she saw it was Meredith. “We’ve been so worried all day.” She said as she got up to hug her sister. Meredith forced out a small smile and made her way to the kitchen to heat up the food. As Hayes entered the kitchen, Meredith got an overwhelming craving for hawaiian pizza. “Ooh, do you think we could order pizza? Hawaiian?” She asked Hayes with hopeful eyes as he walked up beside her. “You hate hawaiian pizza.” He stated, eyeing her up and down. It was the one thing they could never agree on, he loved pineapple on pizza, while she despised it. “Well, this baby wants hawaiian pizza right now. So… it’s definitely yours.” She said jokingly as the soup finished heating up. He laughed at her remark, as did Link, Amelia, and Maggie. She was grateful that all her kids were upstairs, playing and that they didn’t have to worry about mentioning the baby. “Say no more, I’ll order now.” Hayes told her with a smirk, he couldn’t deny it to himself that if they decided to have this baby, he wouldn’t mind not having to argue with Meredith about her choice in pizza toppings for the next 7 months. 

The food arrived 30 minutes later, and luckily Hayes had enough sense to buy two pizzas, one just for Meredith, and one for himself, Link, Amelia, and Maggie to share. As they waited for the pizza to arrive, Meredith had eaten the whole bowl of soup, a bowl of cereal that she insisted she needed, along with bites of several other snacks. And she still ate the whole pizza. Hayes had forgotten just how much pregnant women could eat, but this was no surprise to Amelia, Maggie, and Link, who remembered very well just how much Amelia ate when she was pregnant with Caleb. The kids came down and hung out with the adults for a little while. “Were you not feeling well today mom?” Zola asked as she cuddled up beside Meredith on the couch. “No, I wasn’t Zozo, so thank you for being so good for your aunts and Uncle Link today. It helped mommy out a lot.” She snuggled her daughter close to her. “Will you feel better tomorrow?” Ellis asked as she played with one of her dolls on the ground. “I hope so Ellie.” The rest of the night went fairly smoothly, the kids went to bed easily, the adults spent a little more time hanging out before both Maggie and Link were paged into the hospital, and Amelia headed to bed. 

As Meredith laid down in her bed for the night, the terrifying thoughts slowly began to creep back into her mind. She tried to ignore them and fight them off, trying everything she could to get her mind to shut off for the night so she could sleep. But it was no use. To make matters worse, it seemed like Hayes had already successfully fallen asleep, so she was alone. She carefully tossed and turned, trying to hold back tears as she wrestled not only with her mind, but herself in order to try and get comfortable. “Hey, you alright?” She heard Hayes whisper and sit up in the bed. “Nights are hard.” She admitted, laying her head on his chest. “Sorry for waking you up.” Hayes wrapped his arm around her waist. “I’d much rather you wake me up than try to deal with this on your own. Do you want to talk about it?” He offered her the option. “I want to know what we’re doing. This terrifies me. But I need a plan, and I think you do too. And I have a lot of worries - our kids, my age, and obviously the whole Alzheimer’s thing. Do I really want to put a baby through that?” She closed her eyes. She was really glad that Hayes was there. “But I couldn’t stop thinking about how good we are together, and how part of me does kind of want to meet this baby.” Hayes’ breath hitched at her words. “Wait, what about your age worries you?” He asked, confused. He’d met plenty of new mothers far older than Meredith in his years as a pediatric surgeon. “I guess it just makes me feel bad, knowing that hypothetically, if we have this baby, they could reach 15 years old and I might develop Alzheimer’s and not remember them. Is that fair to either of us to take chances on?” 

“That’s not up for me to tell you what to do, but Mer, you are an incredible mom already. And I highly doubt you’d forget about your own child if it came down to it. And I don’t know what will happen in the future - but what I do know is that no matter what, I’m in this for the long-haul. I don’t see myself leaving you. Our relationship is incredibly special to me, and nothing you do will change that. I can’t say that I haven’t had my own worries, and I know we both are thinking of Derek and Abby, wondering what they think about all of this. Would they want us to have children with someone other than them? I don’t know. I couldn’t answer that question if I tried. But this decision is up to you, and I will support you every step of the way - if that means we have this baby and our relationship takes a speed run, or if we decide to keep it with just our 5 kids and take things slow. I’m prepared, and I’m not going anywhere. No matter what. Okay?” Hayes said everything Meredith needed to hear. She nodded her head, and they laid back down properly. She went over everything Hayes said to her in her head and tried her best to come up with a decision. 

Finally, after 30 minutes of weighing the pros and cons, talking to Derek a little bit, and going over every little thing Hayes had said to her over the previous few days, she turned to her boyfriend and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hmm?” He said sleepily. “Okay, I think I want to do this. As much as it scares me, and as high-risk as I am, this could be a good thing. I mean, it’s a miracle. And miracles don’t come around very often. I want to embrace the good. So, let’s do this.” She told him as she stared at the ceiling. “Okay.” Hayes said as he was half-asleep, with a small smile on his face. And with that, she laid her head on his chest and promptly fell asleep. It was the best sleep she’d had in ages.


	15. Telling the Kids, Again

“We really have to start thinking about how we’re supposed to tell the kids.” Hayes said in a whisper, as he wrapped his arm lightly around Meredith the morning that she hit 12 weeks. She’d stayed over at his place the night before, finding it becoming increasingly harder to sleep alone. “We haven’t even made an appointment with Carina yet.” He continued, as she turned over to look at him. “I already told you, I don’t want to tell anyone or see anything until I know I won’t miscarry.” She said with a serious look on her face, and Hayes let out a sigh. “I don’t want us to get attached, or get the kids involved until it’s safe.” Meredith remembered the pain of losing her first baby, and how much anxiety she had throughout her pregnancies with Bailey, and Ellis. “I know. But you’re in your second trimester today. We should at least try and schedule an ultrasound with Carina.” Meredith sighed and nuzzled her head into Hayes chest. “God you sound like Derek. Fine, but you have to make the appointment.” She finally decided, yawning and closing her eyes. “Sounds like a plan.” He said, kissing her forehead quickly, and running his fingers through her hair.

After a few minutes of laying in silence, there were rustling noises down the hall. “The boys are up.” Meredith said as she sat up and threw the covers off of herself, laughing when they hit Hayes in the face. She quickly got dressed, looking down at her stomach, grateful that her bump was still unnoticeable to the general public. She figured must’ve been looking down at her stomach a significant amount of time, as she felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned to see her boyfriend looking at her with concern on his face. “You okay?” He asked, worried that she’d have another tough day. “Yeah, I think I zoned out.” Hayes kissed her forehead and went to his dresser to find something to wear. Meredith exited his room, only to be met with Liam leaving his own room in what seemed to be a bit of a hurry.

“Morning, Meredith.” He said when he saw her in the hall. “Morning Liam, busy day ahead?” She responded, smiling at him. He nodded at her, “There’s a pep rally and a couple other events at the school today that my yearbook director wants me to cover. I’m happy to do it, obviously, but it’s going to be pretty stressful.” Meredith nodded in understanding. “Well, I’m sure you’ll do great. Good luck today.” She told him, glad to hear that the boy had continued to pursue photography. It was something she’d come to learn that he was very good at and clearly passionate about but debating as to whether or not he should keep doing. He quickly ran downstairs, throwing together a lunch before yelling at his brother to hurry up and get ready.

Hayes met all three of them downstairs. Meredith was eating breakfast while talking Austin through some homework he had procrastinated on, and Liam was testing his camera out and making sure he had everything he’d need for the day ahead. He grabbed something quick to eat from his pantry, then he and Meredith got the boys out the door and over to the school. After dropping the boys off, they finally made their way to the hospital. Thankfully the hospital wasn’t too far away from the school, and they made it with plenty of time to spare before their shifts started.

Their workday, while busy, went relatively normally, and by the end of the day all Meredith wanted to do was find her boyfriend and pull him into an on-call room. He’d found her in the middle of the day on his break to let her know that Carina would see them for an ultrasound after her shift had ended, which was an hour after theirs did. When Hayes walked into the on-call room that Meredith had paged him to, he had initially been concerned that something was wrong. He was pleasantly surprised when she immediately locked the door behind him and kissed him when he entered the room. “Well hello to you too.” He said with a smirk before kissing her again.

“We’ve got an hour before our appointment with Carina, right?” Meredith asked, ready to jump her boyfriend. “Yeah...” He responded, grinning at her before she wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered “Good.” She smirked, then kissed him passionately. “Where’d this come from?” Hayes said in amusement, though he wasn’t going to stop her. “It’s the hormones. I want to have sex all the time.” She said in a such a way that insinuated he should’ve already known, as he took off his lab coat and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Hormones, hm? I could get used to these hormones.” The low tone and his accent were enough to push Meredith over the edge, and she immediately reached up at the collar of his shirt, pulling it off of him, before doing the same with her own. Their lips met again with a fiery passion, and they soon found themselves laying on the bed behind them, removing every last article of clothing off the other’s body.

-

45 minutes later, after enjoying those hormones with each other, they laid next to each other on the bed, in complete bliss. “We have an appointment in 15 minutes, we should probably go get dressed.” Hayes said as he ran his hand up and down Meredith’s side. Mer groaned. “I would much rather just stay here lying next to you.” She said, closing her eyes. “I would too, but I told Carina we’d be in the exam room soon. She was surprised to hear we needed the appointment in the first place.” He explained with a slight laugh. “Tell me about it.” Meredith responded. She finally sat up and grabbed her scrubs, Hayes following suit. They both quickly got dressed and headed to the attending’s lounge to grab their regular clothes and bags. They switched out of their scrubs into their outfits, and discreetly made their way to the exam room where Carina was waiting.

They greeted each other, and Carina did her usual spiel, letting them know what to expect during the appointment, even though she knew they already knew the rundown. Meredith laid down on the bed and Hayes stood by her side, holding her hand as he looked over at the ultrasound screen. Their hearts were racing, nervous for what they were about to see, or hear. Meredith let out a sigh of relief when she saw Carina smile and move her hand to turn the screen towards them. “Baby looks healthy, measuring normally.” Carina said with a smile as Meredith and Hayes looked in awe at the screen in front of them. “You’re due September 28th.” She continued as she moved the ultrasound wand to try and get a clearer look at the baby. She pressed a button, and the sound of their baby’s heartbeat filled the silence in the room. Meredith squeezed Hayes’ hand and looked up at him with a smile. They could tell by the smiles on each other’s faces that they’d quickly become attached to the little life. “Strong heartbeat.” Carina stated as she watched the couple look between the screen and each other.

They went on to finish the necessary tests, and Carina printed a few ultrasound pictures for them to take with them on their way out. Meredith couldn’t believe how quickly she’d fallen in love with the baby, and she knew Hayes had fallen just as hard. Once they’d cleaned up and Carina had finally left the room, they sat side by side on the exam bed in silence, looking over the pictures they’d gotten. “It feels so much more real now.” Meredith finally said, breaking the silence. Hayes simply nodded in agreement, unable to break his eyes away from the pictures. “I’m worried about how Zola, Austin, and Liam will take the news. Ellis and Bailey will probably just be excited.” She continued as she rested her head on Hayes’ shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and kissed her forehead, finally looking away from the picture he held in his hand. “We will figure it out, even if they’re upset at first, they’ll come around.” He reassured her, and she looked up and kissed him tenderly.

“I didn’t want to get attached, but now I am. If you thought I was anxious before, I’ll be miserable now.” Meredith admitted as they left the hospital and headed for Hayes’ car. He let out a laugh, telling her, “Trust me, I can handle it. When Abby was pregnant with Liam, she was anxious right up until the moment she heard him cry for the first time.” Meredith smirked, remembering how she was the same way with Bailey. “Sounds like me.” She responded. “How on earth are we going to explain this to the kids?” Meredith said as she opened the car door and sat inside. Hayes got in the driver’s seat, and he looked over to his girlfriend. “I think we should tell them all at once, rip the band-aid off.” He told her, and she nodded in agreement. “We’ll have to tell them soon, and our friends as well. This bump won’t stay hidden much longer.” She said, placing her hand on her stomach. Hayes reached over and placed his hand over top of hers, lacing his fingers with hers before leaning over to kiss her. “Why don’t we have dinner with all of us tomorrow night at my place, and we can tell them then. For now let’s just get you home, okay?” She smiled at him and nodded, and they headed back to Meredith’s house.

The next day they decided to tell everyone at work, aside from her family who already knew. “I’m going to show you guys something, and you’re not allowed freaking out, okay?” Meredith said to Jo, Jackson, Teddy, and Owen as they all sat in the attending’s lounge. Hayes sat close by, as Meredith reached into her purse and pulled out the photos. She turned it around, placing it on the table where all her friends could see. “Oh my god!” Jo squealed when she realized what she was looking at. Everyone else looked up at Meredith and Hayes in shock. “This certainly wasn’t planned, but we’re happy about it now.” Hayes explained. “Congrats, guys.” Owen said, standing up to hug Hayes. Jackson and Teddy reiterated Owen’s words, while Jo could only muster up “Oh my god.”

“How long have you guys known?” Jo finally asked after wrapping her head around the bombshell Meredith and Hayes had just dropped on them. “About a month.” Jo’s eyes looked like they were going to jump out of her head. “How did you keep it a secret that long?” She inquired. “We didn’t want to get attached or have anyone get attached until we knew I wouldn’t miscarry.” Meredith explained, hoping Jo would stop asking questions. “That makes sense. I’m sorry, this is just so insane.” Jo apologized, sensing it was still a difficult subject to talk about. “It’s okay, it’s insane to us too.” Hayes told Jo.

-

The day could not have dragged out any longer, as the hours seemed to go by slower and slower as they approached the end of their shifts and got ready to go home and tell their kids they were getting a new brother or sister. Meredith was still mostly worried about Austin and Liam. They were just getting used to their dad dating someone other than their mom, and she’d finally formed a close relationship with them. She didn’t know how they’d react to the news that their dad had gotten her pregnant. She knew Ellis and Bailey would be ecstatic, since they were younger. Zola was the biggest toss-up. Meredith had some semblance of what to expect from the youngest kids and the older boys, but Zola was the one that she could not place any expectations on at all. She could go either way.

Meredith’s nerves set in when everyone was sitting down to eat, knowing it was now or never. She couldn’t tell if the nausea was from her nerves or just pregnancy sickness, and she had a feeling that confusion wouldn’t go away any time soon. Meredith and Hayes shot a couple glances of them when everyone began to finish their food, and Meredith finally spoke up. “So, do you guys remember when we told you we were dating, how we both said you guys would be included in every big decision we have to make?” The kids nodded curiously. “Well, uh a few weeks ago, we found out something pretty big and life changing, and completely unexpected.” Meredith continued, confusing the kids even more. “What’d you guys find out?” Liam inquired. _Rip the band-aid off._ “We found out that I’m pregnant. You guys are going to be getting a new baby brother or sister.” And so, the band-aid was ripped.

Hayes watched as his sons went speechless. There was a blank expression on each of their faces. Meredith’s heart was racing a million miles a minute, wondering who was going to speak up first. “Boys, are you okay?” Hayes said gently. “I know it was a mistake, something neither of you were expecting to happen, and it’s not a decision you guys made lightly, and I’m trying to be happy. But it’s not easy, I miss mom.” Liam said, looking over at his father. Austin only nodded at his brother’s words. “And that’s completely okay. We know this is big news, and it’s going to be a big adjustment. You guys are allowed to feel whichever way, we’ll understand.” Meredith reassured the boys.

“Zo, how are you feeling?” Meredith asked her oldest daughter, who looked a little sad and had remained completely quiet. “Is he going to be replacing daddy?” She finally said. Meredith’s heart broke and she tried her best to contain her tears, though she was unsuccessful. Hayes took Meredith’s hand in his, and told Zola, “No, no. Not ever in a million years. I’m going to be ‘dad’ to Austin, Liam, and this baby. Just like your mom is going to be ‘mom’ to you three and the baby. We’re not replacing your dad, or Abby. We’re family now, but that isn’t changing our roles in your lives. Okay? I need you boys to know that too.” He concluded, addressing his sons, who nodded knowingly. Zola smiled a little and nodded, hugging her mom. Ellis and Bailey got up from their seats smiling as they hugged their mom. “I’m excited, mommy.” Ellis said sweetly, which made Meredith laugh through her tears. “I know sweetie, thank you.”

“I know you guys probably have a million different questions, don’t hesitate to ask them.” Hayes told all the kids. “Does this mean we’ll have to move again?” Austin asked once everyone had sat back down. “Yes, eventually. I’m not due until the end of September, so we’ll probably look at moving in July or August.”

“Does this make Austin and Liam our brothers?” Bailey asked, smiling widely at his mom and Hayes. This cracked a laugh out of Liam, who told him, “Yeah, I think this makes us siblings, somewhat.” To which Bailey celebrated. Hayes and Meredith were overjoyed to see their kids getting along so well even after finding out they were all getting a new sibling. The kids asked a few more questions, which they were both happy to answer, and showed them the ultrasound pictures, which Ellis was especially fascinated by.

-

By the end of the night, things seemed to go back to normal, the topic of the impending baby was dropped, and everyone had a good time. When it was finally time for Meredith and her kids to head home, Hayes helped Meredith get the kids in their car seats and stood outside the driver’s door waiting to say goodnight. She smiled when she saw him waiting there for her and hugged him tightly. “That didn’t go as bad as we thought it would.” He finally said after breaking away from their hug and leaning against the car. “Yeah, but it didn’t go great either.” Meredith responded sadly. Hayes looked at her empathetically. “They’re not mad at us, it’s just going to be an adjustment for everyone, even us. It’ll be okay. I promise.” Meredith smiled slightly at Hayes and hugged him again, and he rubbed her back and kissed her forehead. “Go on, get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Meredith nodded and kissed him quickly, before getting in her car and driving home.

“Auntie Amelia, Uncle Link, Auntie Maggie, we’re getting a new baby brother or sister!” Ellis squealed as she ran into the house and jumped into Link’s arms. “I know Ellis, I was there when they found out. So was Maggie.” Amelia told Ellis, hugging her nieces and nephew. “I take it, it went well?” Maggie said as she helped Bailey take his jacket off. “It didn’t go awful, but it definitely didn’t go over smoothly either.” The adults nodded in understanding. They brought the kids up to their rooms and started getting them all ready for bed, Meredith felt exhausted when she finally got Ellis down.

The rest of the night was spent talking about the coming months, looking at ultrasound pictures, and hearing about each of their workdays. Meredith was grateful to have her family around on the nights she couldn’t be with Hayes. Before going to sleep, she laid in her bed next to an already asleep Maggie and talked to Derek. Across town, Hayes talked to Abby. It was something they did when they needed advice, to reflect on something, or in this case, just to let them know they were still thinking of them, even though they were moving forward with someone else.


	16. Timelapse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided I wanted to start naming my chapters instead of numbering them off. Chapter updates still won't be consistent until May, when I'm off school. But I've got a lot of inspiration for the next few chapters, so who knows. Enjoy!

_20 weeks along_

“So, did you guys want to find out your baby’s gender today?” Carina asked Meredith and Hayes at their 20-week ultrasound. “Yes.” “No.” They responded at the same time, quickly looking at each other, confused. “We don’t need to find out the gender, I think it’d be fun to wait and find out when they’re born.” Hayes tried to reason with Meredith. “I want to be prepared, I want to have a name picked out, figure out what kind of clothes to buy, what the nursery is going to look like.” Meredith argued back. “We can get gender neutral things and pick out a name we like for both a boy and a girl. We don’t need to know the gender to be prepared.” Even though Meredith hated being wrong, she knew full well that her boyfriend was right. They really didn’t need to know the gender to be prepared. That didn’t change the fact that she wanted to know, though. “Fine, we’ll wait.” She finally gave in, and Carina nodded, turning the screen back towards her and printing out a few pictures for Meredith and Hayes to take with them.

“We should probably set up a registry with things we’ll need, in case people want to help out.” Hayes said to Meredith on their way out of the hospital. “Did you find out Liam and Austin were boys, or did you and Abby wait?” Meredith asked, almost disregarding everything Hayes had said to her previously. “We found out with Liam, waited with Austin. Why?” He asked, getting in his car. “I guess I was just curious, Derek and I found out with Bailey because I had a lot of anxiety during the pregnancy, and with Ellis I chose to find out so I could be more prepared since I was doing it on my own. I guess I’m still having to remind myself that I’m not doing it alone again.” Hayes gave his girlfriend a sympathetic look. “No, you’re not doing it on your own. And you’ll never have to again. Okay?” Meredith slightly smiled at her boyfriend and rested her head on his shoulder, sighing. He grabbed her hand and kissed her forehead. They sat there for a few moments, basking in the silence, when all of a sudden Meredith’s eyes widened and she moved Hayes’ hand to the top of her bump. He looked at her, confused, until he felt a little kick where his hand sat. His eyes widened as well, looking at Meredith who was smiling widely. “Baby kicked.” She said quietly. His breath hitched as the baby kicked again. “Whoever you are in there, you have some strong little feet.” Hayes said, making Meredith laugh and the baby kick again. “Oh, god that one hurt.” They sat in the car and talked until the kicking died down, and then finally headed home.

_26 weeks along_

“Meredith, come on, get up and get dressed.” Maggie said as she stood in the doorway of the living room, unimpressed with the sight of her sister laying on the couch. “Why? I just got comfortable like, 10 minutes ago.” Meredith responded, closing her eyes. “We have lunch over at Hayes’ place, remember? Link and Winston are meeting the three of us over there.” Meredith opened her eyes and threw her head back. “I forgot about that. Can we just reschedule or something? I’ve been super uncomfortable all day and I don’t want to move.” Amelia walked into the living room, throwing the blanket off of Meredith. “Hey!” She yelled, unimpressed. “We can’t reschedule, you guys are moving into your new house in 2 weeks. Today was the only day that works with all of our schedules. So, get up, and make yourself look presentable.” Amelia told her, unphased by Meredith’s pleas to stay lying on the couch. “I hate you both.” Meredith said as she passed her sisters and walked upstairs to get dressed. “Okay, we’ll see you back down here in 15.” Maggie said back, satisfied with the outcome.

“You know, I really don’t think Hayes would have minded rescheduling or coming to our place if we told him the reason why I didn’t want to come was because of the growing fetus, which he helped create, that’s making me uncomfortable as hell.” Meredith protested as they pulled into the driveway of Hayes’ townhouse. “And yet we’re here anyways.” Maggie retorted, and Meredith rolled her eyes. “It’s a good thing his couch is comfortable or else you wouldn’t have gotten me off the one at home with all the strength in the world.” Amelia shook her head and laughed as she shared a look with Maggie, knowing full well their ulterior motive for getting Meredith out of the house. The three sisters walked in the door together, and Meredith was shocked to see all of her friends scattered in the living room, surrounded by presents. “What’s going on?” Meredith said, looking over at Maggie and Amelia who were grinning from ear to ear, and Hayes who was doing likewise. “We’re throwing you guys a baby shower!” Amelia said happily. “Yeah, we never got to host one for Ellis since you disappeared, and with Bailey I didn’t know you, and Zola was adopted. So now we finally get the chance to!” Maggie said, equally as happy.

“Oh… okay.” Meredith said as she set her purse on the kitchen counter and greeted her boyfriend with a kiss. “How long have you known they were doing this?” She asked curiously. “About 3 weeks, I think. They told me right after we closed on the house.” Meredith’s jaw dropped. “How have you been feeling?” Hayes asked with a laugh at Meredith’s disbelief. “Like hell today. This baby will _not_ stop kicking. I got comfortable for 10 minutes before those two forced me out the door.” Meredith told him, pointing to her sisters. Hayes frowned at her slightly, then kissed her on the forehead. “Well, I’ve got a very comfortable couch that you can lounge on if you need to, and I hear these cupcakes and donuts that Maggie and Amelia brought are something magical.” Hayes offered. “You had me at ‘comfortable’. But now that you mention it, a cupcake and a donut sound delicious.” Meredith smiled sweetly. “You go sit down and talk with your friends; I’ll gather some stuff for you to eat.” Hayes said as they looked into each other’s eyes and smiled. “You’re the best.” Meredith hugged her boyfriend and kissed him quickly, before slipping away to find comfort once again and talk with some of the people in attendance.

After making her way through a couple of baby shower games, it was finally time for them to open the gifts that their friends had brought with them. Bailey and Ben had bought a bunch of new outfits for the new baby, as did Jo, who also bought a baby wrap for them both. Jackson bought a playmat, as well as a bottle of wine for mom and dad after the baby had been born. Maggie and Winston bought a stroller for them, while Amelia and Link bought them a new car seat. Teddy and Owen had bought them a bunch of swaddles and bottles, and practically everyone had brought diapers with their gifts. Even Tom had bought a couple of small things for the new baby. Meredith and Hayes appreciated it all.

_34 weeks along_

“God these Braxton hicks are no joke. I forgot just how bad they are.” Meredith drawled as she sat in the attendings lounge with only Amelia around to listen to her complaints. “Are you sure they’re just Braxton hicks?” Amelia quickly quipped back. “Yes, they don’t last very long and they’re really irregular. Plus, it’s too early anyways. I still have a month and a half to go. And this baby is not allowed making their entrance into the world without Hayes and the boys here.” Meredith said with such a tone that Amelia was forced to believe her. Hayes had travelled back to Ireland for a week with Austin and Liam for his sister’s wedding, and while Meredith wanted to go, she didn’t want to take the risk of flying while pregnant, so she opted to stay back with her kids. They’d just moved into their new house a month and a half ago, selling Meredith’s childhood home to Amelia and Link. “All I’m saying is it wouldn’t hurt to go get checked out by Carina, make sure you’re not going into pre-term labour. Have you told Hayes that you’re having Braxton hicks?” Amelia responded calmly. “I’ll be okay, and no, I don’t want to worry Hayes and make him miss his sister’s wedding. He’s been looking forward to seeing his family for months now.”

“Okay, well, let me know if you need anything.” Amelia told her with a small smile. Meredith smiled back. “I will, thank you.” And with that, Amelia left, leaving Meredith alone to contemplate what she’d said, as another one came on strong and painful. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to make sure? But she knew if she told Hayes that she was going to get checked to make sure she wasn’t going into labour, he’d hop a flight with the boys the next chance he got and miss the wedding. _Maybe I’ll just go get checked, confirm they’re just Braxton hicks, and then I won’t have to tell Hayes anything._ She reasoned with herself, getting up slowly to go find Carina.

“Dr. Grey, what seems to be the problem?” Carina said with a smile as Meredith approached her. “I think I’m having Braxton hicks contractions, but I just wanted to come and make sure they’re just faux contractions before I go and worry Hayes half to death.” Carina nodded, understanding Meredith’s worry. “Luckily it’s been a quiet day so I can check right now.” She said, leading Meredith to an exam room. She hooked Meredith up to a few monitors to monitor baby’s heart rate, mom’s heart rate, and the speed and intensity of the contractions. After about 10 minutes of examinations, Meredith began to grow slightly worried. “They _are_ just Braxton hicks, right?” She inquired to her OB whose eyes were fixated on the screen in front of her. “Should I call Hayes?” She pushed even further, and dread started to fill in when Carina only nodded. “This baby wants to meet their parents earlier than expected.” Carina said, as she paged for help. “Oh god, we haven’t even talked about names. Hayes is halfway across the world! Is there any way we can get these to stop, even just long enough for him and the boys to get home?”

“We can try, but I can’t make any promises. Do you want me to page anyone?” Carina asked delicately. She knew Meredith was a few weeks away from full term, but she didn’t think it’d be worth it to try and stop the contractions knowing Meredith’s history with pregnancy. “Uh, just Amelia and Maggie.” Carina gave Meredith her best sympathetic smile, but all Meredith wanted to do was cry. She did not want to have to have this baby pre-maturely on her own. They brought in a few nurses who started an IV for her, giving her terbutaline to try and stop the contractions that only seemed to be getting worse.

8 hours ahead in Ireland, Hayes was pleasantly surprised to see Meredith calling him midday, when he knew she was at work. “Hey, what’s up?” Hayes said cheerfully as he answered the phone. “When’s the next flight you can book to Seattle?” Meredith said on the other end of the phone, plagued with dread and worry. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Hayes asked, dread starting to fill his mind. “I’m fine, but this baby of ours doesn’t seem to want to wait. Apparently, I’ve been in pre-term labour all morning and they only think they’re going to be able to stop them for so long. How fast can you get back to Seattle, I can’t do this alone again.” Meredith’s voice cracked at the end. Hayes’ heart dropped to his stomach and he raced to his laptop. “Everything will be okay; I’ll book the next flight over for me and the boys. Which is in…. 6 hours.” Meredith began to tear up, knowing he likely wouldn’t make it in until about 4am the next morning, and she didn’t know if baby would hold out that long. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. I promise. Keep me updated, okay?” Hayes told Meredith, a deep pit of worry sitting in his stomach. “Okay. I’m sorry you have to miss your sister’s wedding.” Meredith said quietly. “I would rather miss the wedding, than not be there for you and the baby.”

Back in Seattle, Maggie and Amelia raced to Meredith’s room, worried sick. “Is everything okay? Is the baby okay? Did you call Hayes? Do you need us to call him?” They bombarded her with questions as they walked into her room. “Baby doesn’t want to wait til’ they’re mature enough to make their grand entrance. Makes me wonder if it’s a boy. Uh, I called Hayes a few minutes ago, he was just as worried and panicked as I thought he’d be. Next flight is in 6 hours. I don’t think he’ll make it until really early in the morning tomorrow.” She told them sadly. “We’re here don’t worry. We’ll make sure everything is handled. Is there anything we can get you?” Maggie and Amelia told her, sitting down on either side of the bed. “Just distract me, tell me something – anything. I don’t want to think about this right now.” Meredith said with her eyes closed as Maggie stroked her hair. “Okay, okay.” Amelia said, and began to talk about something Ellis had told her a few weeks back that made her laugh.

Contractions had stopped for the time being, Meredith was comfortable, and Hayes was on his way home. Things were going okay. Until they weren’t.


	17. Without Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love this chapter, and I hope you all do as well. :)

“Meredith, Mer, talk to us, what’s the matter - what’s happening?” Maggie rushed to Meredith’s side after she and Amelia walked by Meredith’s room and saw their sister crying and gripping the side of the bed in pain. “They started again; the terbutaline isn’t working.” Meredith said through heavy breaths. “When?” Maggie asked, horrified at the revelation. “2 hours ago.” She admitted, and Maggie and Amelia’s jaws dropped. “I’m paging Carina.” Amelia said to Maggie, who only nodded in return. Meredith looked at them with tears in her eyes that stemmed from the amount of pain she was in. “No, no paging anyone.” She managed to say before another contraction came on. “Meredith, we have no choice. Your last contraction was only a minute ago.” Maggie explained, which was met with a fierce glare. “He’s not home yet. I am _not_ having this baby without him here. Do. Not. Page. Carina.” Meredith reiterated, before screaming in pain.

“You think we can try and get ahold of him, see if he’s close to landing yet?” Amelia asked Maggie quietly, trying to think of any way she could convince Meredith to let them page Carina. “It’s 2am. He might not even be awake. But it wouldn’t hurt to try.” Maggie whispered back. She returned to Meredith’s side, holding her hand and helping her through the very constant contractions, while Amelia slipped out of the room and messaged Hayes, praying he’d bought in-flight wifi and would see her texts.

 **A** : _How close are you to landing?_

Amelia breathed a sigh of relief when Hayes started typing back not even a minute later.

 **C** : _I want to say we’re about an hour from getting back to Seattle, 2 hours til I can get to the hospital. How is she?_

**A** _: Contractions started up again 2 hours ago, they’re almost every minute now. She’s in a lot of pain but won’t let either of us page Carina._

**C** _: Page her. I’ll be there as soon as I can once we land._

Hayes telling her to page Carina was the only boost Amelia needed in order to send the 9-1-1 page to the OB. Within minutes Carina came rushing down the hall, looking to Amelia to explain what was going on. “Amelia, what happened?” Carina said in a hurry. “Contractions started back up, almost 2 hours ago, but they’re every minute now with no pain relief, and she refuses to do anything until Hayes gets back.” Amelia explained as Carina gowned and gloved herself. “By the sounds of it, we may not have a choice.” Carina said seriously, opening the door and entering the room, Amelia following behind. Meredith looked and felt defeated as she saw the worry on Carina’s face. “I told you not to page anyone.” She said through her teeth as she squeezed Maggie’s hand in pain. Amelia felt a tinge of guilt, but knew it was for the best. “Hayes told me to page her. Said he’ll be here in about 2 hours.” Amelia explained before going to the other side of the bed.

“I’m… afraid we might not have 2 hours before this baby makes their entrance.” Carina said in a worried tone after checking Meredith over. Maggie and Amelia held Meredith closely as they watched their sister’s heart break. “Please, there has to be a way we can wait till he’s closer.” She cried as Maggie pushed her hair out of her face. “You’re 9cm dilated right now and seem to be progressing quickly. Your contractions are scarily close together, so I don’t even know if we could do an epidural. I have no way of stopping these contractions. This baby isn’t waiting for anyone.” Carina explained as carefully as she could, knowing how much Meredith wanted to wait for Hayes, while also knowing it was highly likely the baby could be there within the hour.

“I will come check you again in 30 minutes, if you’re fully dilated by then, you have to start pushing, okay?” Carina said firmly. Meredith nodded sadly before throwing her head back and crying as Maggie and Amelia did their best to soothe her and keep her as comfortable as possible. Bailey stopped by after hearing that Mer was about to have the baby and offered to have Ben and Sullivan give Hayes and the boys a ride to the hospital as soon as their plane landed. Jo had gone to Meredith’s house after her shift to stay with the kids until the morning, which Meredith was appreciative for since this had happened unexpectedly.

30 minutes later, after what felt like an eternity of pain, Carina came back to Meredith’s room to check and see if it was time to push. Part of her hoped she hadn’t progressed enough, so that Hayes could have more of a chance to make it to the birth. The other part of her was tired of being in pain and was just ready to meet her baby, giving up all hope of waiting to have Hayes with her. It was a bittersweet feeling when Carina looked up at her and said, “I’m sorry. I know you wanted to wait, but it’s time.” Meredith closed her eyes as she mentally prepared herself to have the baby without Hayes, knowing he’d be devastated that he wasn’t able to be there with her. Amelia quickly sent Hayes a message letting him know they couldn’t wait any longer, before putting her phone away and standing opposite Maggie, holding Meredith as Carina’s team rushed in the room and prepped for the preemie.

“Okay, go.” Carina finally told Meredith after the room had been prepped and every nurse was on standby. Meredith mustered up all the strength that she could to push, not feeling like she was doing anything. “Okay, you’re doing great.” Carina reassured her, as Maggie and Amelia stroked her hair and rubbed her back. This went on for another 35 minutes, pushing when she had a contraction and resting when it stopped. “I see baby, you’re doing amazing Meredith. Let me just check and-“ Carina abruptly stopped talking and coaching Meredith, which made her begin to panic. “What, what’s the matter?” Meredith said through a broken voice. “Meredith, I need you not to push. It is crucial that you do not do anything.” Carina told her firmly, before turning to one of the nurses and whispering, “Page the NICU.”, which only worried Meredith more. “Tell me what is happening.” Meredith demanded, and Carina finally looked her in the eye, saying, “Your baby’s cord is compressed, wrapped around the neck. I don’t know when it moved there, but I need to get it off the airway quickly, so I need you to listen to me when I say this - Do. Not. Push.”

Carina worked as quickly as possible to get the nuchal cord off of the baby’s neck, checking the monitors vigorously to make sure baby wasn’t decelerating. Maggie and Amelia felt helpless as Meredith worried over the complication. Finally, after what felt like hours of worrying and waiting, though it was only actually 2 minutes, Carina let out a breath of relief and looked up at Meredith with a smile. “Cord has been removed from around the neck, you’re good to push again, but we need to get this baby out soon.” She told her, a sense of urgency filling the room. “I can’t, I can’t. I’m too tired.” Meredith said through tears, her voice cracking as she laid back on the bed. Amelia and Maggie’s hearts were breaking at their sister’s defeat but knew she couldn’t give up now. “You can do this Mer. I know you think you can’t, but you can.” Amelia reassured her, placing a cold cloth on Meredith’s forehead. “Call Alex, please.” Was all Meredith could muster up the energy to say. She wanted the best doctor for her baby. Maggie nodded and stepped out for 5 minutes to call the peds surgeon, before coming back in the room and stating, “He’s on his way.”

Meredith pulled herself up and began to push again, feeling weaker and weaker every time she went to push. “Come on, just a couple more, baby is almost here.” Carina encouraged Meredith, who’d fully accepted that Hayes was going to miss the birth. Another contraction started, Meredith squeezed Maggie and Amelia’s hands as hard as she could, and right in the middle of pushing-

“Did I miss it?” A familiar voice rang out from the door. Everyone’s heads whipped around to the door to look at him, but Meredith didn’t even need to look, she nearly collapsed back on the bed at the sound of Hayes’ voice. “No, baby’s head is almost out. A few more pushes to go now.” Carina told a breathless and worried Hayes, then motioned for him to come in.

He entered the room and took Maggie’s place beside Meredith, who looked completely exhausted. “You made it.” She said at him with a small smile and weak voice. Hayes grabbed her hand and bent down to kiss her forehead. “Yeah, I’m here.” He laughed a little, kissing her on the lips. “She’s been a trooper. Alright guys, let’s have this baby.” Carina said, and Meredith nodded, feeling more energized and ready with Hayes in the room. She pulled herself up, still holding on tightly to Amelia and now Hayes’ hands, while Maggie encouraged her from the side. 5 minutes later, Carina told her, “Okay, baby’s head and shoulders are out. I need one last little push from you.” Which Meredith was happy to do. Finally, after many complications, tears, and hours in pain… “Congratulations guys, it’s a girl.”

Meredith and Hayes looked at each other, happiness radiating off their faces. “We have a daughter?” Meredith said, almost in disbelief, as the baby girl was placed on her for a few moments. “We have a daughter.” Hayes repeated, looking down at his little girl. Maggie and Amelia were left speechless at their new little niece. The moment only lasted a few seconds, before the little girl was taken off Meredith, the cord was cut, placenta was delivered, and nurses and doctors swarmed her. The room was pin-drop silent. “She’s still not crying, why is she not crying?” Meredith began to worry, and looked to Hayes, who sat beside her and held her hand, not taking his eyes off their daughter. For 3 minutes, no one said a word. And for 3 minutes, it took every ounce of willpower Meredith had in her body to not scream and get up to be with her daughter. Just as she thought she couldn’t take the silence any longer, the tiniest little cry came from across the room and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

“She is 4lbs, 8oz, and 16 inches of pure fighter.” Carina said as a nurse brought the now-screaming baby back over to Meredith. “Now, she can’t stay here for long, but we’ll give you guys each a few minutes with her before we take her down to the NICU.” The nurse told them as she handed the little girl over to her mom. They nodded, and immediately focused their attention back on their daughter. “She’s perfect.” Meredith whispered, completely and utterly in love with the little girl that lay swaddled in her arms, Hayes only nodding in agreeance. She finally diverted her gaze away from her daughter to look over at Hayes, who was already watching them both with complete adoration. “You amaze me.” Hayes said, leaning over and kissing her quickly. “I love you.” Meredith told her boyfriend in response, meaning every word that came out of her mouth. “I love you too.” Hayes kissed her once more. The baby had finally calmed down, and Meredith passed Hayes his little girl, letting him hold her for the first time.

“Do you guys have a name for her?” Carina asked. “What do you think about naming her Cristina?” Meredith said, turning to look at Hayes, who was looking down at his daughter with complete adoration. He looked up at Meredith, back down to the baby, and then back at his girlfriend, before deciding, “I love it. As long as her middle name can be my mum’s name.” Meredith smiled at him, knowing how much Hayes looked up to his mom. “Cristina Sinéad Grey-Hayes. It’s perfect.” She reached out her hand and the little girl wrapped her hand around her mom’s finger. “She’s beautiful, but she needs to get taken down to the NICU for monitoring now.” Carina said as she carefully took baby Cristina from Hayes. “Amelia, you and Maggie go and stay with her in shifts until Alex gets here.” The sisters nodded and promptly followed the nurses and their niece down to the NICU.

“Alex?” Hayes said, confused. “You can’t be her doctor, and I need someone I can trust with our daughter. I trust Alex. And besides…” Meredith said as she grabbed his hand. “… I need you here with me.” She told him, and he kissed her tenderly. “Okay.” He said, getting up to lay beside her on the hospital bed. “Who’s with the boys?” Meredith asked as she snuggled up beside him. “Warren took em’ back to his place, said they could crash in their spare rooms.” Meredith nodded, wrapping her arm around him. “How are you feeling?” He asked, stroking her arm. “Not too bad. Helps that she was only 4lbs.” She joked, and he laughed lightly. “You should try and get some rest.” He told her as she yawned, fitting her head into the crook of his neck. “You should too, you must be jet-lagged.” “I am a little tired, but I’m not the one who just gave birth.” And Meredith smacked him playfully. “We both need to get our rest before Alex gets here in the morning, and I start getting bitchy over the fact that I’m stuck in this bed.”

“Okay, fair.” Silence fell between the couple as they closed their eyes and relished in the only peace and quiet that they’d get for the next few years. “I know I said it earlier, but love you.” Hayes told Meredith again as he broke the pin drop silence, and he felt her smile against his shoulder as he kissed her forehead. “I love you too.”


End file.
